The feud between American Idol judges Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj is old news at this point, but it’s being dragged out again conveniently just in time to hype up the premiere of Idol’s twelfth season, in which viewers will finally get to see the two diva bitches in action.
Earlier this week, Mariah and Nicki were both on hand for the Television Critics Association winter press tour in California (so were Keith Urban and Randy Jackson, but no one cares about them) and both gleefully responded to questions regarding their stormy relationship.
In an interesting twist, Mariah was also featured on Nightline the night before the press tour where she gave her completely one-sided spin on darling Nicki to Barbara Walters.
At the TCA tour, Mariah, as always, came across as a self-centered twat, and Nicki, as always, came across as completely psychotic. The best moment was when one of the critics on hand asked them how they reconciled after their spat. Mariah gave the boring “time heals all wounds” answer. Nicki’s response, however, was a pleasant surprise.
“I put on my sex tape.”
For years there have been rumors about Nicki’s sex tape(s), though I have not personally seen it, and it is pretty awesome to imagine Nicki and Mariah, hanging out, watching Nicki getting railed. Especially since Mariah seems so completely frigid.
This was followed by Nicki saying quite possibly the only reasonable thing I’ve ever heard her say.
“We’re professionals. Have you ever had an argument with someone you work with?”
To which Mariah added:
“It was sort of one-sided.”
And Nicki snapped right back:
“No, it wasn’t.”
Overall, Nicki was remarkably subdued. It’s likely, therefore, that she hadn’t yet seen Mariah’s interview with super-sycophant Barbara Walters the night before.
In that interview, Mariah rehashed their famous fight. Basically, Mariah and Nicki were bitching at each other about something. Nicki flipped out and, according to Mariah, was heard threatening to shoot her. Specifically, she was heard saying:
“If I had a gun, I would shoot that bitch.”
Join the crowd, Nicki, join the crowd. Nicki denies mentioning a gun, of course, but Mariah was so troubled and intimidated by absurd pink-haired Nicki that she actually hired more security.
“It felt like an unsafe work environment. Anytime anybody’s reeling threats at somebody, that’s not appropriate. Sitting there on the road with two babies, I’m not gonna take any chances, so yeah, I did hire more security.”
In a classic bit of hard-nosed interviewing, and with upmost dignity, Barbara then did a dramatic reading of a line from Nicki’s new single about American Idol called “Hell Yeah.”
“I’m quick to check a bitch if she is out of line.”
Then she asked Mariah the most obvious question ever: “Are you the bitch?”
Clearly, Barbara, Mariah is the bitch. We all know that. And she further proved it with her consdescending answer.
“Don’t know what [Nicki's] singing. I didn’t know she sang, I thought she rapped, or whatever.”
When Barbara asked if their childish feud is detracting from American Idol, Mariah responded with:
“I think it’s a classic, classy show, and it didn’t need this.”
She’s partly right. While American Idol is neither classic nor classy, it didn’t need those two ridiculous, egocentric bitches further perverting its original aim, which is supposed to be finding new talent. Mariah and Nicki are both awful. Really truly awful. Hopefully, once the season begins, Keith and Randy, and maybe even Ryan, will burst out with some actual balls and not let those two completely ruin the show.