Articles tagged with: Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan Gets Burgled For Some Reason
If a number of items described as 'tatty', 'mangy' and 'reeking of cigarettes' start appearing on eBay, you know why. It's because Lindsay Lohan has been robbed. According to reports, Lindsay Lohan is shaken following an apparent burglary at her home this weekend. We know - Lindsay Lohan's apparently got stuff worth stealing. Who'd have guessed? Although Lindsay wasn't at home at the time, the thieves broke into her safe, swiping bags, clothes and jewellery in the process. Also reported stolen was Lindsay Lohan's dignity, but that might just be an insurance fiddle - because, honestly, that thing's been missing for years.
If a number of items described as 'tatty', 'mangy' and 'reeking of cigarettes' start appearing on eBay, you know why. It's because Lindsay Lohan has been robbed. According to reports, Lindsay Lohan is shaken following an apparent burglary at her home this weekend. We know - Lindsay Lohan's apparently got stuff worth stealing. Who'd have guessed? Although Lindsay wasn't at home at the time, the thieves broke into her safe, swiping bags, clothes and jewellery in the process. Also reported stolen was Lindsay Lohan's dignity, but that might just be an insurance fiddle - because, honestly, that thing's been missing for years.
Lindsay Lohan + Sam Ronson x Sex Toys = (Our) Vomit Everywhere
When the list is finally produced covering the 'Things We Absolutely Do Not Want To Ever Know About, Ever', this will be right up there at the top. Nobody needs to know that Sam Ronson has apparently bought Lindsay Lohan a big pile of sex toys for her birthday. We didn't need to know, we didn't want to know and we feel a bit sick now. Which is why we had to tell you lot, so you can feel as ill as we do. Yep - sick as a dog.
When the list is finally produced covering the 'Things We Absolutely Do Not Want To Ever Know About, Ever', this will be right up there at the top. Nobody needs to know that Sam Ronson has apparently bought Lindsay Lohan a big pile of sex toys for her birthday. We didn't need to know, we didn't want to know and we feel a bit sick now. Which is why we had to tell you lot, so you can feel as ill as we do. Yep - sick as a dog.
This Just In: Lindsay Lohan Is A Moron
If we had to describe I Know Who Killed Me in one word, that word would be 'potential'. And Georgia Rule? 'Potential'. And, dear sweet baby Jesus, Labor Pains? That thing very obviously had potential coming out of its arse. But The Hangover, the biggest comedy movie of the summer that's so far taken over $270 million worldwide and has reignited Heather Graham's previously-dormant career? Ugh. That thing's got zero potential. It's the anti-potential. It repels potential. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wonderful world of Lindsay Lohan's genuinely demented thought processes. Don't stay here too long - it's terrifying.
If we had to describe I Know Who Killed Me in one word, that word would be 'potential'. And Georgia Rule? 'Potential'. And, dear sweet baby Jesus, Labor Pains? That thing very obviously had potential coming out of its arse. But The Hangover, the biggest comedy movie of the summer that's so far taken over $270 million worldwide and has reignited Heather Graham's previously-dormant career? Ugh. That thing's got zero potential. It's the anti-potential. It repels potential. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the wonderful world of Lindsay Lohan's genuinely demented thought processes. Don't stay here too long - it's terrifying.
Lindsay Lohan Sued For Stealing Fake Tan Trade Secrets
The first time Lindsay Lohan was ever accused of stealing, it was by an unattractive female DJ who then pretended she couldn't find her heart. The next time she was accused of stealing it was by the Mexican government - who claimed they couldn't find Monterrey or three of its suburbs after she stayed there for a long weekend. The third time she was accused of stealing, allegations included allusions to corporate espionage and reports of illicit Hollywood spray tans. That last one - it's unfolding even as we speak.
The first time Lindsay Lohan was ever accused of stealing, it was by an unattractive female DJ who then pretended she couldn't find her heart. The next time she was accused of stealing it was by the Mexican government - who claimed they couldn't find Monterrey or three of its suburbs after she stayed there for a long weekend. The third time she was accused of stealing, allegations included allusions to corporate espionage and reports of illicit Hollywood spray tans. That last one - it's unfolding even as we speak.
Ryan Seacrest Employs Lindsay Lohan, Oddly Not As His Scarecrow
What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of Lindsay Lohan? We'll tell you. Inspirational. No, really. Inspirational is the first word that comes to mind when you think of Lindsay Lohan. It is. It is. It is. Shut up. It is. Alright, inspirational is almost the last word that comes to mind when you think of Lindsay Lohan, sandwiched between 'well-adjusted' and 'clothed'. But Ryan Seacrest clearly thinks that Lindsay Lohan is inspirational, because he's just hired her to be the judge of his new reality TV show, provisionally titled America's Next Top Harrowing Trainwreck Hasbeen.
What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of Lindsay Lohan? We'll tell you. Inspirational. No, really. Inspirational is the first word that comes to mind when you think of Lindsay Lohan. It is. It is. It is. Shut up. It is. Alright, inspirational is almost the last word that comes to mind when you think of Lindsay Lohan, sandwiched between 'well-adjusted' and 'clothed'. But Ryan Seacrest clearly thinks that Lindsay Lohan is inspirational, because he's just hired her to be the judge of his new reality TV show, provisionally titled America's Next Top Harrowing Trainwreck Hasbeen.
Lindsay Lohan And The Fiendish Case Of The Pilfered Jewels
Is Lindsay Lohan a jewel thief? No. No she almost certainly is not. Seriously, have you seen Lindsay Lohan lately? Honestly, if you can't read the script to I Know Who Killed Me without realising that it's terrible, or even go out in public without ending up rocking backwards and forwards like some kind of disturbingly foetal mad-eyed lunatic, you're hardly going to be able to mastermind a jewel-theft, are you? Nevertheless, jewels worth have been stolen from a Lindsay Lohan photoshoot. Lindsay's not a suspect, though - unless she scared the jewels away with her scary voice and freckly knockers.
Is Lindsay Lohan a jewel thief? No. No she almost certainly is not. Seriously, have you seen Lindsay Lohan lately? Honestly, if you can't read the script to I Know Who Killed Me without realising that it's terrible, or even go out in public without ending up rocking backwards and forwards like some kind of disturbingly foetal mad-eyed lunatic, you're hardly going to be able to mastermind a jewel-theft, are you? Nevertheless, jewels worth have been stolen from a Lindsay Lohan photoshoot. Lindsay's not a suspect, though - unless she scared the jewels away with her scary voice and freckly knockers.
The Greatest Living Lesbians
All of a sudden everyone's bisexual, everyone. The Big Brother people, Megan Fox, the one from Black Eyed Peas - everyone. Unfortunately, we're not impressed one jot, because, frankly, being bisexual is a doddle. The ones we really look up to are the lesbians. And to prove it, here's a list of the greatest lesbians walking the earth...
All of a sudden everyone's bisexual, everyone. The Big Brother people, Megan Fox, the one from Black Eyed Peas - everyone. Unfortunately, we're not impressed one jot, because, frankly, being bisexual is a doddle. The ones we really look up to are the lesbians. And to prove it, here's a list of the greatest lesbians walking the earth...
Lindsay Lohan is a Huge Stalking Stalker. Possibly.
In a news nugget sure to change the very way we think about humanity itself, Lindsay Lohan has arrived in London to do some stuff. Hold us back, this could be epoch-making. Speculation has been mounting that the star of Herbie and, umm... hecklerspray has timed her arrival to coincide with that of former/current were-they-weren't-they lover/pal/fanny chum Sam Ronson, who is in town to get paid to play a couple of records. It's called "DJing", apparently. Ah well, at least it involves more talent than standing still and managing not to die while being photographed. For money. Which exactly what Lindsay is doing.
In a news nugget sure to change the very way we think about humanity itself, Lindsay Lohan has arrived in London to do some stuff. Hold us back, this could be epoch-making. Speculation has been mounting that the star of Herbie and, umm... hecklerspray has timed her arrival to coincide with that of former/current were-they-weren't-they lover/pal/fanny chum Sam Ronson, who is in town to get paid to play a couple of records. It's called "DJing", apparently. Ah well, at least it involves more talent than standing still and managing not to die while being photographed. For money. Which exactly what Lindsay is doing.
