There are three types of Jonas Brother fan – those who like Joe because he’s sexy, those who like Nick because he’s cute.
And those who like Kevin out of pity. But that last group has just suffered what’s probably the worst weekend of their lives, because Kevin Jonas has got married.
Apparently Kevin Jonas’ wedding ceremony was a beautiful snow-flecked affair, and the night that followed was precisely what you’d expect from someone so proud to keep his virginity intact until marriage – three hours of trying to stick in in her belly button followed by six hours of icy, resentful sobbing. God, we’re turned on just thinking about it.