Posts tagged as:

Final

The Apprentice: It’s War… BISCUIT WAR

by Jacki Evans

Last night on the Apprentice it was all-out war. About biscuits. Yes, that’s right, those little snacks that you dunk in your cup of tea were enough to inspire vitriolic hatred of hecklerspray proportions. We’re almost proud. It turns out that biscuits are a very serious thing. So serious that Lord Sugar felt the need [...]

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The Apprentice: Blowing Your Load

by Jacki Evans

Last night’s Apprentice was the filthiest yet. It turns out that Natasha wants everyone to blow their loads, which frankly is a mental image that hecklerspray could do without. Especially the image of Tom. He looks like he’d probably cry, and nobody ever needs to see that. We might need therapy just to get over [...]

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The Apprentice Review: Making Rubbish Puns

by Jacki Evans

Last night’s Apprentice was all about rubbish. Actual, literal rubbish. There are so many puns in hecklerspray’s brain right now, but we’re not going to make any of them. That would be too obvious. Besides, this week was like a new show – it wasn’t all about Magic Jim! Before the collective divs could get [...]

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The Apprentice: Magic Jim Escapes. Again.

by Jacki Evans

This week’s Apprentice was all about the always embarrassing advertising task, where Lord Sugar had his minions create, brand and launch a new pet food. The real theme of this week though seemed to be ignoring everyone. Except for the artist formerly known as Magic Jim. Focus groups, team members, Nick’s ridiculous expression? THEY MATTER [...]

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The Apprentice: Showing You How Not To Shop

by Jacki Evans

Last night saw the Apprentice’s buying task return to our screens. Think the candidates are only good at losing money? Turns out they can’t spend it either. It’s almost a shame they’re not in charge of the economy – their complete lack of spending skills would’ve stopped us ever getting into this nasty budget deficit [...]

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The Apprentice: Annoying You Twice In Two Days

by hecklerspray staff

Last night saw the continued returned of the Apprentice. That’s right, it was on again. A day after it started. With another episode. Apparently the viewing public could not be expected to wait an entire week to see if the weekly bullshit quota could be fulfilled without the one-man wankfest that was Edward, so we [...]

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The Apprentice Week 1: Overhauled And Exactly The Same

by hecklerspray staff

The apprentice is back! You might’ve been missing it, but lets face it, that’s pretty unlikely since the last series was on our screens roughly 20 seconds ago. But this time, it’s different. Apparently. As far as we can tell it’s exactly the same, but maybe a little more like Dragon’s Den. It’s complicated. Basically, [...]

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The Apprentice Candidates 2011: The 16 Horsepeople Of The Apocalypse

by Justrestingmyeyes

Despite the fact that it’s only been a scant few months since The Good Lord clamped the FinanceBot 3000 Stella to his ample Amstrad man-bosom, he’s off on the hunt for a new Apprentice. Another one? What is he, Fagin? Lord Sugar goes through more nubile young business flesh than the lead sword in Slutty [...]

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The Apprentice Final: Who Will Be Freed From Their Urbon Prism?

by Justrestingmyeyes

So it comes down to this: after 12 weeks of dodgy DVDs and dayglo babies, tour buses and tramp-tie dresses, octopus-based perversions, Blue Book confusion and Stuart Baggs’ little white sausage, two candidates remain for the chance to sit at the right hand of the Good Lord and suckle at the meaty teat of the [...]

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Jason Gardiner: Being Rude About People Again

by Mof Gimmers

If television isn’t bad enough to watch on a daily basis, TV execs make it ten-times worse by hiring unrelenting prick-jobs like Jason Gardiner. Under the assumption that Everyone Loves A Pantomime Dame, he chirrups away like a tumble-drier loaded up with idiocy, upsetting everyone and anyone he can. And guess what? He’s at it again (and thereby leaving the door wide open for everyone else to call him every name under the sun).

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