If television isn’t bad enough to watch on a daily basis, TV execs make it ten-times worse by hiring unrelenting prick-jobs like Jason Gardiner. Under the assumption that Everyone Loves A Pantomime Dame, he chirrups away like a tumble-drier loaded up with idiocy, upsetting everyone and anyone he can. And guess what? He’s at it again (and thereby leaving the door wide open for everyone else to call him every name under the sun).
Yep. Gardiner is a man that thrives on faux-controversy on his Dancing on Ice gig and, regardless of what has actually happened in front of his piss-hole eyes, he arches an eyebrow and volleys up things like ‘you remind me of a shit in a bowl, swirling ’round and ’round’ and ‘your arms look like the veins on my member – you’re disgusting, arousing and I’m going to either eat you or dismantle your cranium… you shit ice-skater.’
So who is in his sights now? Well, he’s said that? former Emmerdale actress Hayley Tamaddon (who?)? is certain to win the pointless prancing cake of a show… only because the other finalists are “pillocks”.
Tamaddon will piss about on a lump of frozen water against Gary Lucy and Kieron Richardson (both former Hollyoakers) in Sunday’s final after Daniella Westbrook was voted off the show last weekend.
When asked by The Sun about Lucy and Richardson’s chances of winning he commented:
“With those pillocks, do we need to even rock up on Sunday? Can we just give Hayley the crown and go home?”
Did no-one think to tell him that indeed, the show was over and that he would be free to return to some vapid non-celebrity status and anonymity post haste? Clearly not as, bafflingly, ITV seem intent on paying this vacuous testicle a wage.
Naturally, he didn’t want to merely slag off the contestants. Any ol’ chump can do that. No, he wanted to ensure that the staff-room (if indeed, Dancing on Ice has a staff-room) was frostier than Santa’s arse-eye.
Gardiner criticised fellow judges Karen Barber, Nicky Slater and Robin Cousins for choosing to save Lucy over Westbrook in the semi-final saying:
“Danniella wasn’t as good a skater as Gary but was a better performer. We have three skating judges on the panel and only two performance and dance judges.
“So they decided to go with skating prowess over the dance performance and it annoys me as it is called Dancing On Ice. What people at home pick up on more is the dancing.”
No Jason, what people pick up at home is the remote control. If only the studio audience sat behind him would pick up a rubber brick or two and launch them at his head during a transmission… then we’d have a programme really worth watching. Even Holly Willoughby would stick the boot in!
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