Articles tagged with: drunk
Hey, everyone! Get ready for the hecklerspray word of the day.
Today’s word: depressed. Adjective.
1. Sad, gloomy; dejected; downcast.
2. Being or measured below the standard or norm.
3. The reason you say you went to rehab, but everyone probably knows you’re a bit of a drunkard because there’s always loads of pictures of you stumbling out of clubs and parties pretty trashed.
Now, try to apply the correct definition to the following statement: Kirsten Dunst has publicly announced that her recent trip to rehab was because she was depressed.
And yes, the correct answer is ‘all of the above’.
Look at his hair, or listen to his pointless band, and you wouldn't assume Richie Sambora to have a very astute sense of self-awareness. But, hey, threatening a man with prison for being a terrible father tends to make people snap to attention. Which is why Richie Sambora has pleaded guilty to DUI after police arrested him for swerving about the highway like a pissed-up ninny. And, thanks to the magic of the plea deal, Richie Sambora's sudden bout of guilt means that he's got away with three years probation instead of a jail sentence. It's a win-win for all involved - lessons have been learned, the crowded prison system gets one inmate less to deal with and Richie Sambora's daughter gets three solid years of ostentatious presents from her father as he attempts to buy back her love after he drove around with her while drunk. Heartwarming.
Hear that? It's the sound of all the cars in the world pulling to one side in case Lindsay Lohan decides to drunkenly zoom about like a crazy woman again. It's a possibility if recent reports suggesting that Lindsay Lohan is back drinking again are to be believed. According to several sources, Lindsay Lohan was seen out in New York last weekend necking cocktails, smoking cigarettes and screeching at one of the Olsen twins to stay away from her 'girlfriend' Samantha Ronson. Oh Lindsay, it's so good to have you back. Your cocaine-filled trousers are pressed and waiting for you, and Calum Best has his camera phone primed in case you want to perform any more sex acts on him. Remember - you're a celebrity, so you can do whatever the fuck you want.
Few of us can imagine the horror of not being injured in a laughably minor car crash with a 20mph drunkard, but Sandra Bullock is obviously special. And although Sandra Bullock probably still has trouble sleeping after Saturday night's accident, because every time she closes her eyes she's presented with the terrifying vision of a tipsy lady manoeuvring her car towards her very slowly indeed, she's not letting the shunt affect her work schedule. Truly the woman deserves a medal. Sandra Bullock has refused to let her 20mph not-really death-smash get in the way of her new movie The Proposal, a warning if there ever was one that not even irresponsible drivers can stop Sandra Bullock from making identical romantic comedies that you can accurately guess the ending to just by reading their titles. Better luck next time, dangerous boozehounds.
In the past the nearest you could get Bon Jovi to child endangerment involved playing Blaze Of Glory at a toddler until it cried and/or crapped itself. But not any more - not since Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora was arrested for driving his Hummer around Laguna Beach all shitfaced with his 10-year-old daughter in the passenger seat. Unsurprisingly the police have taken a rather dim view to it all, and have recommended that prosecutors go all out to hit him with a misdemeanor child endangerment charge. But, really, whatever criminal charges may or may not be be brought against him, Richie Sambora will have to live with the emotional upset that comes with knowing that he endangered the life of his daughter in a moment of stupidity. And, on top of the emotional upset he's already got from being in a really rubbish band, that's going to be quite a lot of upset.
As a member of Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora's life is mainly about pedal-to-the-metal rock and roll rebellion. And dodgy haircuts.
But anyway, back to the rebellion. Time was that to be a rebel you only had to get drunk and drive around in your car for a while. But now that everyone from Paris Hilton to most of the stars of Lost have done that, the bar had to be raised. Which is why Richie Sambora apparently got drunk and drove around with his own 10-year-old daughter in the car with him.
And now Richie Sambora might be hit with child endangerment charges for it. How many times, Richie? You should only get drunk and endanger the lives of your passengers when your passengers are the other members of Bon Jovi, not kids. That's just stupid, although the Bon Jovi thing really should be actively encouraged.
You know, we really haven’t seen enough DUI busts for our liking for the new year. Sure, we had a good run in the past with Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kiefer Sutherland, Busta Rhymes, the entire cast and most of the crew of Lost…
Honestly, we didn’t think there was anyone left to get a DUI. But we were wrong. Turns out you just have to look to the siblings of other busted drunkards. Like Paris Hilton’s little brother, Barron Hilton, who has gone and gotten himself a DUI.
Oh, and he one upped his sister’s DUI with a fake license. Ha! Take that, Paris.
If you thought Rosie O'Donnell had been spending her time away from TV fighting with strangers, puking vomit down her cleavage and crying a lot, think again.
Actually, scrap that - for all we know Rosie O'Donnell has been spending her time away from TV fighting with strangers, puking vomit down her cleavage and crying a lot - but if she has, she's done it stone cold sober.
Rosie O'Donnell has revealed that she's given up alcohol because she's sick of all the adverse reactions. However, it's thought that being on the wagon hasn't affected Rosie O'Donnell's favourite party-piece - belching out a perfect rendition of the saxophone part from Baker Street so loudly that it'll loosen your fillings.
