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David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff Does Something Depressing, For A Change

by Stuart Heritage

Thanksgiving might traditionally be an American holiday, but we’ve decided that we want a go this year, too. Ready?

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The 20 Most Awesome Movie Cameos Ever

by hecklerspray staff

Cameos in movies are always a bit of a double-edged sword. On one hand they can provide audiences with a reaction of genuine delight when they find a big-name star who was not listed in the opening credits has suddenly turned up on screen to enliven and enrich the film in progress. The more negative [...]

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Oh Jeepers, Hoff’s Gone To Hospital!

by Josh Burt

David Hasselhoff used to have it all. The car that could talk, the hair that even made women jealous. Not to mention his smash hit drama series about disturbed young lifeguards trying to make it through life, without falling foul of the hideous daily flashbacks of having to hoik limp, dripping bodies from an angry [...]

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America’s Got Talent: Recycled Percussion Are Rubbish

by Paul Gibson

Week 274 of Ameria’s Got Talent, and the ten remaining acts audition again, for your votes. Well, either your votes, or else the approval of the goat’s entrails which the judges seem to have been relying on these past few weeks to tell them which act gets their discretionary nod. If you, like us, are [...]

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America’s Got Talent: Kari Callin Just Can’t Lose… Oh.

by Paul Gibson

Here it is, then. Enough of the freaks, losers and oddbods. Time now for the, you know, perfectly normal talented folk. LOL, whatever! It’s the AGT quarter-finals. In Vegas, baby! Las Vegas: home to sexually-desperate bachelor parties, the nasty ladies who satisfy their carnal needs and, now, 40 of America’s most talented groups of people [...]

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America’s Got Talent: Was It A Susan Boyle Moment?

by Paul Gibson

Some things haven’t changed from the British version of Got Talent. There’s the smug judge on the right, the facially inarticulate judge in the middle, and Piers Morgan on the left (still desperately trying to make comprehensible words come out of his slimy, floppy-jawed mouth). And now America’s got Talent strikes another BGT-like chord: last [...]

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America’s Got Talent Begins: Can They Give Us A Susan Boyle?

by Paul Gibson

Will the producers of America’s Got Talent be able to find a mad-haired old fat lady, just like the Brits did? The clue is in the question: what with this being America, they’ll doubtless be fighting them off with sticks. Of course, America has to do things a bit bigger than anybody else. So we [...]

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Watch The Ready 2 Rumble Revolution David Hasselhoff Trailer

by Stuart Heritage

The golden rule of advertising crappy products is that they’ll seem less crappy if you get David Hasselhoff to endorse them.

It’s a crap rule, by the way, because the only people who ironically like David Hasselhoff are clueless, easily-pleased bottom-feeders who’d literally soil themselves if they ever happened to blunder across an original thought of any kind. Nevertheless, the makers of Ready 2 Rumble Revolution thought it was a risk worth taking. The result is either hilarious or so depressing that you’ll want to strangle the world to death and lock its corpse in your cellar, depending on if you’re us or not.

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David Hasselhoff Gets Part Of His Face Removed

by Stuart Heritage

David Hasselhoff is having a rough week – not only did he lose a load of stuff in his his divorce settlement, but now he’s lost part of his own face, too.

It’s been reported that David Hasselhoff has just been released from hospital after having something removed from just above his eye. While nobody around David Hasselhoff has revealed exactly what was removed, chances are it was either his over-inflated sense of self worth or the part of his brain that genuinely believes he’s a well-respected pop star.

Oh that’s sick. David Hasselhoff might be seriously ill, you disgusting bastards. You’re going to hell for thinking of something as disgusting as that, we’ll make sure of it.

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David Hasselhoff Divorce: Don’t Worry, He Gets The Hoff

by Stuart Heritage

David Hasselhoff divorce from Pamela Bach is finally complete and, although it’s a stark reminder that he’s ultimately a tragic failure, it’s not all bad.

That’s because David Hasselhoff got to keep the thing he most treasures in the divorce settlement – his name. Or, specifically, use of the phrases ‘The Hoff’ and ‘Don’t Hassel The Hoff’. Honestly, we’re not making this up. Furthermore David Hasselhoff gets to keep the intellectual property rights to a potential TV show called Tales Of The Hoff.

Sometimes a story comes along that doesn’t need jokes to be funny. We think this might be one of them. Oh, and David Hasselhoff also gets to keep the elephant foot, too. We promise all this is true.

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