Here it is, then. Enough of the freaks, losers and oddbods. Time now for the, you know, perfectly normal talented folk.
LOL, whatever! It’s the AGT quarter-finals. In Vegas, baby!
Las Vegas: home to sexually-desperate bachelor parties, the nasty ladies who satisfy their carnal needs and, now, 40 of America’s most talented groups of people to… entertain them? That doesn’t seem quite right. Ah, yes: to send them running and screaming back to Asswipe, Montana while gibbering about singing seniors, precocious juniors, and English talent judges who speak only the language known as “Dribble“.
More details about the whole painful mess of post-auditions week after this little jump.
Approximately two thousand of the nationwide auditions’ best/most-comically-deluded acts made it to the point where they could still be cruelly thrown from the competition without being allowed to reprise their gay homage to David Schwimmer from Friends. And yet, only 40 of them could proceed to the real finals in California. So, how best to begin the whittling process? Hmm…
Oh, but of course: by flying them all to Las Vegas, standing them in an airport hangar like a flock of dispirited sheep set for slaughter, then dressing David Hasselhoff up as a 1980s Miami pimp and asking him to deliver the news to the painfully self-deceiving wannabes.
First to be cut were acts including The Fifty Kids In Ginger Wigs For Some Reason, The Boy Who Plays Guitar Better Than Someone His Age Should (have they thought this through?) and Kari Callin (now hang on, this was supposed to be the next Susan Boyle! What the hell are they doing?).
We have no idea what they can possibly bring into the finals to top the bilaterally-hairlipped chanteuse, but this is fact: YOU CRAZY MORONS! How the hell can you take away the most mutant wannabe celebrifreak you have, and then expect us to write amusingly scoffing words about what’s left? Are you crazy in a bad way?
Well, let’s look at who’s through. Possibly.
Although childishly disjointed editing made us begin to lose track of what was real and what was merely the effect of the calming hallucinogens we take each week to make it through the show. Anyway:
Recycled Percussion: blokes who use ladders as drums. Twice as bad – plus a thousand percent – as it sounds. Sharon Osbourne made some water? from her eyes at them (presumably in an attempt to look more like an actual human and less like the Terminator’s mother) and they got through.
Kevin Skinner: Chicken catcher from Mayfield, Kentucky. We should probably repeat that: he’s a chicken catcher from Mayfield, Kentucky.
Chuckle.
But, though he looks like the offspring of Toby Keith and a pile of dead leaves, he sings like the offspring of Toby Keith and a jar of honey. He’s set to go far, so long as they can get Alabama hooked up to the telephone network before voting begins.
The Comic Bots: some kind of dancing act in professionally-elaborate robot suits?
Look, we have never been allowed to see these guys do their thing, and tonight their fate was kind of ambiguously hinted at but never actually expressed.
So are they through? Are they any good? Should we be stacking our weekly allowance from the girlfriend on them?
Not a clue. All we know is we want to see these boys/girls/actual robots shaking their titanium asses to some funk ASAP. Do you hear us, Hasselhoff? ASAP.
We will see you when the real stuff starts: it’s going to be so awesome!*
*Won’t be at all awesome.
Kathy J says
I can not believe they did not put Kari Callin through to the next round! Nothing like reinforcing what she has had to live with her whole life! Obviously she was not judged on her “talent” as much as her “looks”. All three of the judges should be ashamed of themselves! Completely unacceptable!!!!!!!
Desert bloom says
I think the reason they knocked off Kari Callin is because she would rob the spotlight from Susan Boyle. I love Susan and wish her the best, but this show is America’s got talent.
Someone has stakes in the outcome and the judges were told what to do. I can’t believe they are that dumb. Or maybe they have stakes in the outcome.
They dumped some of the “real competition” so their favorite won’t have any. America’s Got Talent has become a disaster and was not entertaining at all but very painful to watch. Doesn’t NBC understand that wringing emotions out of people is not entertaining? They just used these people with disastrous results and it will come back to bite them…I hope. I’m sure they lost viewers. They lost me.
Jane Finley says
I am so mad that Kari Callin has been knocked off! They are IDIOTS! I am going to stop watching the show now!
Jeff Moran says
America’s got talent and idiots for judges. Only an idiot would send Kari Callin home and hang onto flippin fanatics,children who think they can dance and percussionists who have no percussion instruments.
I guess the only idiots that are worse are those of us who might still watch these three morons determine for America who has talent.
It’s time for the show to be cancelled or the judges to be replaced with three who can see, hear and think.
Martha says
I agree 100%, especially after seeing some they left in the competition. My husband was so discusted that he doesn’s care to watch the show any longer. SHAME,SHAME,SHAME on the judges!!!!!!!!!
Linda T says
I will not watch this mess again, what they did to those people was ugly, to fly them all the way to Vegas & then say “sorry, we overbooked, & you’re not good enough” & on top of that let’s see how bad they can really feel, dragging out the “you’re going & you’re staying” nonsense. That was just mean spirited!! Not that it matters, but, you’ve lost me.
Brynn says
AFTER the judges eliminated the delightful, courageous, Kari, from Seattle, and the very talented singing postal workers, I will NEVER watch AGT again!! Too heart-wrenching….what a train-wreck this year!!
Brynn says
You’re right, Kathy J, the judges were so cruel and thoughtless…Kari has a lovely voice. I hope this doesn’t keep her for going forward — she must keep faith and know that she is beautiful — and not let this stop her from an ever so deserving spotlight. Kari, if you read this, please be strong, know that you are loved in Pittsburgh.
Brynn says
Ditto, Desert bloom…
NBC has to rethink this ‘tear-jerker’ competition well as some of its other programming MISTAKES this season… for I am sure AGT is going to lose viewers after this fiasco! With all the sadness, suffering and pain these days, all we need is a competition like AGT that attacks and fails the human spirit. Right! I THINK NOT!!
Tiffany says
first off Kevin Skinner is a great singer even though he had a bad job doesnt mean he isnt a good singer, i am very upset with ppl saying mean things about him just because of what he looks like and the way he talks and his job. its hard to live in kentucky these days. you know what i have to say. GOOD LUCK KEVIN!
he has a great voice and should be on there,
now i do belive some of the ppl they have picked are not good for $1 million, Kari Callin should get her chance idc is she will steal spot light or what ever! she was great and shouldnt have gone home!
Janice Battersby says
I’m shocked. Kari Callin should have won this competition. What possible legitimate reason could the have for eliminating her???
Kirby says
I’ll be back for next week’s show but just to hear what Simon Cowell has to say since I heard him get on the phone with the 3 stooges (judges) and he didn’t sound like he was too happy with their choices either. I think after hearing what that was all about I’ll probably be done with this show because like most everybody else on here I am pretty disgusted with the whole judging process too. I can’t believe Kari Callin didn’t even make it out of the airport let alone not being put through to the next round as well as Ciana Pelekai. Ciana was the supercute 8 year old girl, with the 25 year old voice, from Hawaii for those of you who might not know who I’m talking about. She most definitely should have went to the next round. I think they need to change the name of the show to America’s Got No Talent Judges.
hensam says
Well!
I try to write without emotions so that my remarks are personals and obvious for me. Kevin Skinner is the best. Why? He’s good that’ all and for the rest of him, it’s not important for me. For Kari, I believe that the decision is good because she shouts and does not sing. I am not made have by pity but by the talent. It’s very sad but it’s the game of this kind of contest. We accept or we remain at home. It’s easy to criticize and to shout with the scandal but I am often judge and sometimes I would give my place with pleasure. Not easy but we let us must further see that the pity.
Sorry for my english, i’m french but i do my best.
Susie says
Shame on some who judge so quickly! If there were no “chicken catchers”, There would not be any chicken in the stores or your favorite place to enjoy the favorite food of most meat eaters. You see, they have to catch the chickens in these barns, They are caged, put on a large truck and transported to the Large prossing company. Think before you snicker. It’s a stinky job, but you do what you have to do for a paycheck. I don’t know Kevin Skinner but I think he will go far in the world of Country Music.
Steve says
How could they drop Tallan and Kari without even using the drama of a face to face meeting? They must not have a clue as to how popular these 3 are with the viewers. What can we do to bring them back?
Someone needs to start a web site to bring them back.
Debbie says
This was my first time to watch AGT from the beginning. I cried when the put Kari Callin through, and the postal workers, and the 9-year-old guitar player just blew me away. Ciani Pelekai, the 8-year-old left me speechless.
Then they get to Las Vegas and they give them the ax in an airplane hanger…WTH??? I’m disgusted. I will never watch this show again. Good luck to those who remain, you really got lucky by having your hardest competitors left at the airport…
Nikki says
I too was so disgusted with the way these people were treated, to get a person’s hopes up that high, fly them to Vegas and then say oops we made a mistake we put too many of you through, wth is unreal. These judges are suppossed to be professional, I excpect anything from Hass afterall we all know he thinks with his well I won’t put that in or my comment will be deleted, but from Pierce this is unaceptable and Sharon too, come on folks get a clue.
Oh and the way they picked on Kevin Skinner who I totally adore, his musicical voice, oh my God gave him a wonderful gift, he is a hardworking young man, so very innocent, when they showed them all you noticed he wasn’t in the Casino, he was up looking out a window and he honestly didn’t seem to know in such a large city, he is such a talent I hope and pray that he goes far, if he doesn’t win this show I am hoping someone in Nashville is watching this show and grabs him up, they sure won’t be sorry and we’ll all have a wonderful talent to enjoy. Oh and I applaud the person who pointed out someone has to do these dirty jobs so the rest of us have food on our plates. America has got a clue these judges need to be told point blank get it together you’d never see something like this from Simon and we all know that. Shame on you judges all of you!
Trekker 50 says
It is simply unfair to fly a group of contestants in and tell them to go home at the airport. What would it have hurt to have all the contestants travel to the hotels, enjoy actually getting into Vegas and its special ambiance and then begin the elimination process?
The elimination process did not impress me. After audition rounds that hailed so many as unique, special, spectacular and standing on the edge of brilliant careers, to eliminate based on a viewing of the audition tape provides no new information upon which to base that decision.
It all seemed so arbitary. Surely you all could develop a method by which the judges could get a second look especially if that second look indicated what else each act cokuld do beyond the performance in the audition.
Lastly, let me mention one elimination that particularly disappointed me. Kari Callin, the young lady vocalist with the cleft lip deserved a chance to compete fully based on the comments made by the judges when she was selected. Sending her home at the airport was particularly cruel. Shame on you.
When I considered some of the novelty acts that were passed on to Hollywood, the decision to discard such a talented vocalist without a second look seemed even less understandable.
All in all a very disappointing effort.
Lucia says
They have ruined AGT. It is worthwhile to see contestants perform a second time, many worked hard to improve only to get axed before getting a chance. Boo, hiss and quit watching. There’s a reason the ratings are down. Dancing here we come a watching.
hensam says
Do you remember SUBO and the little girl who has cried at the BGT? I believe that is an answer to our questions. They do not want to take chance with more fragile people any more. You can write very well and never to be a writer. We can say: you will go far because you have talent, but that mean: you will go far if you stop to shout and concentrate on the melody, the quality of interpretation, the investment of voice and especially forgot the past and don’t play pity like SB.
The pencil tears the sheet like the cry of a high note when you shout or if you call that singing, but the pencil who slips on the sheet like a pleasant melody for our ears.
Do not judge so easily because you not be on the good chair. I am agreement with these decisions because I don’t forget the horrible game with Susan Boyle and others. It’s better to stop immediatly or destroy a person when it is too late. Nobody is responsible for the others and eveyone has it’s chance. To make these comparisons with the others contestants is not better than refuse participants because this is a judgement and not really better than the judges of AGT. So, the show most go on and it’s the reality show. You like it or not. Nobody forces you to like this kind of contest because all is based on money, scandals and newspapers and the contestants are accessories. For me, it’s Kevin Skinner my favorite because he sings with his heart ane his soul and this man is genuine and honest. A good guy and I hope he don’t pay for the others like SB in England. Poor woman.
hensam says
From Canada.
Nobody ruined AGT. At the beginning we know what we do and it is necessary understand that there is going to be injustice, errors of judgement, joy and maybe or surely deception. We are not unconscious children but people accepting these errors for us. This contests are not gifts for everybody and there is a winning then everybody is going to endure the winning except or not. So, let us are rather logical to understand this type of competition. I won twice and for other times I cried and I was angered but it’s life.
I respect all of your comments.
hensam says
If judges change the decisions, that’s the end of AGT cause no more credibility. I’m conscious with this society and I do not dream any more in colour for the justice and social values.
I have only one question in my head and its, why do they speak only about Kari and all the others passed to neglect or simply called contestants? My answer is simply pity and finally we had SB. Which monumental joke this research of the other one.
Susie says
A lesson for the judges.
There should be a age limit to try out(16). Some push their children before they are ready. No child has a clue of what happens after the cuts. It’s the parents that are hoping for a life time job.
1.select a chosen number from each try out. Maybe a “few” to go after review. You have tapes to review before you go on TV.
2 That review and cuts should be made before the trip to Vagus. Do you realize how much that trip cost? Do you realize every one sent had dreamed for weeks. They dreamed that they were already a star. There is REAL TALENT in the competion.
3. Come on judges……You couldn’t have really enjoyed that 2 hours that we watched the cuts. What comes around goes around. Maybe you will get that lesson soon. Check and see if your HEART is in the right place.
4. I hope your actions don’t ruin it for everybody watching. I for one will not set and watch you send thru acts that can’t possibly win.
Lynne Burns says
I agree – as much of a ‘sob story’ as Kari has, and I’m sure she’s a great person – she DOES NOT SING – SHE SHOUTS. Not only is that not worthy of a million dollars, she’s going to destroy her throat in a very short time.
As for your apology for your English, don’t worry. The author of this article doesn’t do so well with English either. Many examples of poor language are in the piece, but the one that got me most was his use of the word “Dribble” when it should have been “Drivel.” Ha!
Dan R says
My ex and I used to sing Karaoke with Kari back in my bar Twinkie days many many years ago
gloria malinowski says
The powers that be, hope your’re listening: Nashville, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, are you out there, please hear Kevin Spinner and take him under your your watchful eyes & ears !!! He’s incredible, so humble, and sings w/emotion & soul; he is special man & deserves a break; I want to hear that there is an agent & record deal in the works, for this man !!! Kari, should be brought back; some people say she screams, I disagree.. she projects & delivers..alot like Judy Garland…one should be able to reach the ears of the back row with out a mike..kudos to her….and the freaking judges, what the hell happened ??? they allow kids like Shirley Temple wannabe’s to advance, when they s/b home with their stage struck parents…there s/b another show for kids under 16 & not mixed in w/ adults…where is the “thought process” here, absolutely none..there is alot of talent on the show, I hope they make it..I do have more favorites, but I’m running out of room !!!!