Thanksgiving might traditionally be an American holiday, but we’ve decided that we want a go this year, too. Ready?
We’re thankful that David Hasselhoff isn’t our dad. What’s more, we’re similarly thankful that Pamela Bach isn’t our mother. Because, no matter how bad things get for us, at least we’re not a Hasselhoff daughter. Those girls have probably just had the most traumatic weekend of their lives, which is no mean feat considering all the other crap their parents have put them through.
In a nutshell, this weekend saw David Hasselhoff drink so much vodka that he reportedly had a seizure and spent two days in a hospital’s psych ward, and Pamela Bach was arrested for DUI. We bet Christmas is going to be a hoot.
Can we stop ironically worshipping David Hasselhoff now, please? All of it, can we just kick it in the head? Can we stop calling him The Hoff, and humming Jump In My Car, and letting him do all those winking cameos in Spongebob Squarepants films, and gleefully hopping around at the prospect of a David Hasselhoff musical that we all know will never reach fruition, and watching him repeatedly fail to eat hamburgers off the floor. Because, seriously, enough’s enough.
This weekend, David Hasselhoff was taken to hospital in an ambulance, where he stayed for two days. Officially, the nature of his illness hasn’t been disclosed. Unofficially, though, several sources have reported that Hasselhoff went on a vodka binge, fell into a seizure and ended up being involuntarily held in the psych ward of the Cedars Sinai Medical Centre in Los Angeles. RadarOnline reports:
We have now confirmed that The Hoff had once again been drinking a large amount of alcohol before his hospitalization. He was picked up under the California Welfare and Institutions Code 5150 that allows authorities to take into custody persons they believe may be a danger to themselves or others, are gravely disabled or suffer from a mental disorder.
Needless to say, it’s David Hasselhoff’s daughters who we feel most sorry for. Still, at least their mum’s alright. Right, The Associated Press?
David Hasselhoff’s ex-wife has been arrested on suspicion of drunken driving in Los Angeles. The California Highway Patrol said Sunday that Pamela Bach was pulled over Saturday night just south of U.S. 101 on Laurel Canyon Boulevard. The CHP alleges Bach showed blood alcohol levels of .14 and .13 on a breathalyzer test. California’s legal limit is .08.
Oh, that’s hilarious. The most hilarious thing about it is that this is probably going to carry on again and again, just like it has for several years, because everyone loves The Hoff, don’t they? With his hilarious songs and his funny clothes and everything! It’s OK! Keep drinking, David! You’re hilarious!
Honestly, if Mel Gibson went around calling himself The Gib and being big in Germany and starring in shit television shows about poxy talking cars, he wouldn’t have got in half as much trouble as he did that time. There’s a lesson in that, readers.