Christina Aguilera has a problem. That problem is not knowing when to tone it down when she’s singing. That’s it. That’s the only thing that is truly wearisome about her. Even when she flubbed her lines while singing the American National Anthem, only bozos got narked.
However, there’s another thing that people keep mentioning – her weight.
See, Xtina has put a bit of chub on lately and pretty much no-one gives three hoots. And why would they? She’s not stealing food from your plate. However, women appear to be obsessed with the breadth of female celebrities with the caveat of ‘not that it matters of course!’ Either way, by not caring, Aguilera has been asked about her dress size. Again. Apparently, she’s thrilled.
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Don’t you just hate it when someone you love, admire and possibly think about in a dirty way when you have at least one free hand, turns out to be nothing more than a former all singing, all dancing, would happily punch repeatedly in the face, jumper wearing, Mickey Mouse Club super brat?
We’re talking about YOU Ryan ‘I’m now highly respected and will sleep with everyone’ Gosling.
Yes, self harmingly bland Justin Timberlake went on the Ellen Show and ruined any credibility that Ryan Gosling ever had by announcing that not only were they both made in the evil Disney factory but that they even shared a house together aged 11, making us wish we were dead.
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Filth. Absolute filth. That’s what today’s celebrities are. You wouldn’t get old, classy celebrities like Marilyn Monroe posing naked for photographs would you? Certainly not. She had self-respect.
However, thanks to the wonderful technological advances of mobile phones and those cameras they’ve got built into them, we are now a planet of people capturing their nether-regions and sending them to other humans.
Celebs are no different… apart from the small fact that people want to hack into their phones and share them with the world. So which leaked celebrity n00dz are the best? Click over the jump where it is astonishingly NSFW.
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America is feeling very, very patriotic at the moment as they unify in memory over the events of 9/11, when some planes went and killed a load of people. Horrifying stuff, not least for the pointless memories of those on twitter saying “I remember watching it on TV”
And America is jumpy enough at the moment. First off, the American Army declared war on Soulja Boy after he said they were rubbish… and now, they’ve got Cyndi Lauper to invade too.
That’s because Lauper did the worst thing imaginable. She got the words wrong to the American National Anthem. As well you know, messing with the Star Spangled Banner, or indeed, mocking the bit of cloth that is their flag, is punishable by death.
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Remember when the organisers of the Michael Jackson tribute gig said that those who travelled to Cardiff (obviously the natural home for a MJ tribute) would see “the biggest and best concert in the world”?
Well they won’t. By some distance too.
See, the initial line-up has been revealed and it looks more like a revival revue, with ageing acts wheeled out to bask in the spotlight still shining on Jackson’s increasingly withered corpse. So who can we look forward to seeing? Alien Ant Farm anyone?
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Here at hecklerspray, we know a good pie when we see one and our love of their consumption is legendary the world over. However, our combined level of the consumption of the humble steak and kidney can be rapidly outstripped by human food vacuum Cee Lo Green.
You might remember Cee Lo from that piss awful ‘Forget You’ number that was redone from being ‘F**k You’ in order to get more radio play and completely destroying what little artistic credibility he had based on his time as part of Gnarls Barkley. More recently, you might have heard that he’s not a big fan of the gays.
The famed cake enthusiast has explained his recent comments to music critic Andrea Swensson that were perceived as being homophobic. The rotund Elton John tribute act sent a Twitter message to Swensson on Friday, in response to a negative review of his recent Minneapolis performance, questioning whether she had been offended by his masculinity due to her sexuality. She’s a lesbian you see which means that she’s bound to be terrified of things with penises.
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Since Christina Aguilera flubbed the American National anthem at the Super Bowl, starred in the impressively eventless Burlesque and got arrested for being more drunk than Oliver Reed’s liver, she’s not been too much fun.
In fact, she’s been something of a bore. Instead of properly going off the rails, she’s turned into a little walking book of calm, sounding for all the world like a quack that appears on Geraldo or something.
And so, despite the fact we’ve all seen her boobs in Those ‘Leaked’ Naked Photos, Xtina decided to be incredibly serious and overwrought about the fact her tatas nearly fell out of her dress, repeatedly, while appearing on the show, The Voice. Read More >>>
Child stars are funny critters. Once they start to grow pubic hair or develop a deeper voice, it generally means that Mickey Mouse can no longer work with the individual in question, usually tossing them to the pavement for Pluto to mock.
Once you’ve appeared in a Disney show, you somehow have to prove yourself so you can go on and get serious work.
There are a variety of ways to achieve this. Miley Cyrus posed in her undercrackers and had a go on a bong whilst Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera flashed their genitals. Vanessa Hudgens is known for being part of the irritating High School Musical franchise where everyone seemed worryingly happy on a permanent scale.
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Cee Lo Green Isn’t A Homophobe- Except When He’s Being Homophobic
by Michael Park on June 20, 2011 0 Comments
You might remember Cee Lo from that piss awful ‘Forget You’ number that was redone from being ‘F**k You’ in order to get more radio play and completely destroying what little artistic credibility he had based on his time as part of Gnarls Barkley. More recently, you might have heard that he’s not a big fan of the gays.
The famed cake enthusiast has explained his recent comments to music critic Andrea Swensson that were perceived as being homophobic. The rotund Elton John tribute act sent a Twitter message to Swensson on Friday, in response to a negative review of his recent Minneapolis performance, questioning whether she had been offended by his masculinity due to her sexuality. She’s a lesbian you see which means that she’s bound to be terrified of things with penises.
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