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Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera Is Arrested For Being Horrendously Drunk

by Mof Gimmers

Christina Aguilera hasn’t been having a fun time of late. For a kick off, she’s been in the film Burlesque, which was not exactly well received (it’ll be a future classic, like Showgirls, but for now, we’re all too busy sneering). Then, there was the whole ‘Oops! Someone hacked me and leaked those grotty looking [...]

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Christina Aguilera To Perform 3 Hour Version Of National Anthem At Superbowl

by Mof Gimmers

Americans are funny aren’t they? They’re just mad about their stupid national anthem. Apparently, Americans sing it 78 times a day, just so they can feel more American! You would have thought that, by virtue of the fact that they’re American, they wouldn’t need to remind themselves so frequently. And one of the most notable [...]

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Leaked Nude Pictures Of Christina Aguilera ‘Illegally Obtained’ by Hacker, Not That You Care

by Mof Gimmers

There’s nothing like accidentally leaking some saucy pictures of yourself to get some much needed publicity. And that’s exactly what seems to be happening with Christina Aguilera who is under the impression her career is ailing. Of course, it isn’t. Sure, she’s not hitting the heady heights she once did, but she’s hardly a failure [...]

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Christina Aguilera Is Not Pregnant, Is Eating Her Feelings

by Amy Grindhouse

There have been pretty full-on rumours that Christina Aguilera is pregnant. They started shortly before she received her Hollywood Walk of Fame star and became harder to ignore with her American Music Awards 2010 performance. For the record, she’s pregnant with nothing but wishful thinking. There’s no baby in there; only cake. When the American [...]

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Christina Aguilera A Victim Of Domestic Violence?

by Mof Gimmers

Christina Aguilera is about to become single. Great news if you’re deluded enough to think you’re in with a shot of becoming her soulmate… if only you had the chance to meet her! You could show her that an ordinary guy like you could really make her happy. You couldn’t. You’d make her endlessly miserable. [...]

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Christina Aguilera Rather Lazily Linked With Samantha Ronson

by Amy Grindhouse

Christina Aguilera is to blame for the breakdown of her marriage to music producer Jordan Bratman. Obviously. She was the one out of the two who had a vagina. Which, of course, makes just about everything negative or scandalous within that relationship her fault. Well, that’s not particularly our assertion. However, it does seem to [...]

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Christina Aguilera Has Split Up With Her Husband Thanks To Constant Vocal Gymnastics

by Mof Gimmers

As this is news about Christina Aguilera, allow us to deliver it in the style of the singer herself. *clears throat* Whoooaaaaaaa!! WOOOoooOOo! YeeeeEEEEAaaaahoooo! ChriiiissttiiIIINA AAAaaaguileeeeEEEERAAAooooOOOOo HAAAAAAAS, ooooOOOooo, spliiiiiii-yeeahyeeah-iiiiiit, uuUUUUuuuUUUPPP wiiiIIIiIIIITH her HUUUSSSBBBAAAAAND! OOoooOOOoOOoooyeahoooooyeah! If you can’t read histrionics, then the news is that Christina Aguilera has split up with her husband, which means you [...]

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Christina Aguilera Spends An Evening Staring At Penises

by Matthew Laidlow

Oh Christina, what have you done? We thought you’d change your supposed dirty ways that warped our mind a little bit. Christina Aguilera is now the sort of person that the mature music listener might admit to liking – her image is now less slag and more sophisticated. Gone are the jockstraps, dildos and other [...]

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Famous Beauties Who Like Their Men UGLY!

by Josh Burt

Ever since gorgeous Marilyn Monroe stepped out with George-Formby lookalike Joe DiMaggio, a handful of famous stunners have continued the trend of unveiling their new boyfriends to the sound of a thousand showbusiness journalists dry puking whilst attempting to write short hand. Surely the rules dictate that great looking people should stick to their own [...]

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Christina Aguilera Becomes A Weird Space Cyborg Thing

by Stuart Heritage

As we all know, there’s only room for one gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American blonde dimwit in the world of pop at a time.

And, as we speak, that gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American blonde dimwit happens to be Britney Spears, with her shiny hair and lovely big desperate-looking eyes. That’s not great news for Christina Aguilera, who also happens to be a gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American blonde dimwit. She’s got a new album coming out soon! Grr!

But Christina Aguilera is nothing if not resourceful, and so to promote her new video Keeps Gettin’ Better she’s decided to become a gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American purple-haired dimwit instead. That’s fiendishly clever of Christina Aguilera – so fiendishly clever that it almost made us forget that the song is dreadful. Almost. Video after the jump.

As we all know, there's only room for one gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American blonde dimwit in the world of pop at a time. And, as we speak, that gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American blonde dimwit happens to be Britney Spears, with her shiny hair and lovely big desperate-looking eyes. That's not great news for Christina Aguilera, who also happens to be a gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American blonde dimwit. She's got a new album coming out soon! Grr! But Christina Aguilera is nothing if not resourceful, and so to promote her new video Keeps Gettin' Better she's decided to become a gormless-looking, vaguely past-it American purple-haired dimwit instead. That's fiendishly clever of Christina Aguilera - so fiendishly clever that it almost made us forget that the song is dreadful. Almost. Video after the jump.
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