Don’t you just hate it when someone you love, admire and possibly think about in a dirty way when you have at least one free hand, turns out to be nothing more than a former all singing, all dancing, would happily punch repeatedly in the face, jumper wearing, Mickey Mouse Club super brat?
We’re talking about YOU Ryan ‘I’m now highly respected and will sleep with everyone’ Gosling.
Yes, self harmingly bland Justin Timberlake went on the Ellen Show and ruined any credibility that Ryan Gosling ever had by announcing that not only were they both made in the evil Disney factory but that they even shared a house together aged 11, making us wish we were dead.
Timberlake gushed:
‘Funnily enough, his mother had to keep her job in Canada the second year that we were on the television show and my mom was like his?guardian?for six months.”
‘So we actually lived together at that age. So we were probably a little closer than the rest of the kids on that show were just?because?we had to share a bathroom.’
He didn’t shut up there. There was still a shred of Ryan’s dignity left.
‘We used to do terrible things. Looking back on them they weren’t as bad as I thought they were at the time. We thought we were so cool when we were on the Mickey Mouse Club.’
Well you weren’t. Not even a little bit. Shh.
So what did they do that was so bad? Snort lines off bald hookers? Set fire to Britney Spears? Oh no, it was worse.
‘We stole a golf cart. We were like “Yeah man we stole a golf cart. You know what it’s like on a back lot- there are golf carts everywhere.”‘
‘We drove into MGM studios which is totally?illegal?by the way.’
Finally, Timberlake hammered the final nail in Gosling’s coffin by revealing that the pair used to speak to each other in a version of hilarious faux gangster speak. According to Justin. Not us.
‘I was like, ‘What do you want to do thug?’ and he was like ‘I don’t know cus,’ because that’s?definitely?how we talked.’
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????
‘I said ‘I don’t know man. I’m in the mood for some vanilla and he was like ‘I’m in the mood for some chocolate.’ So then we went and got milkshakes.’
That’s not ‘hilarious’, ?it’s disturbingly lame.
BUT NOT AS LAME AS THIS VIDEO!!!
Shame on you Gosling.
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