The American army are all big and tough aren’t they? They won WWII single-handedly according to the movies and did a grand job in Vietnam and are currently in the Middle East, posing next to pictures of people being tortured.
Don’t mess with the American armed forces, right? They can withstand anything!
Apart from, that is, people calling them names. The old adage of ‘sticks and stones’ doesn’t apply to the US military because that’s what hurts them the most. If only Al-Qaeda knew this from the off! They could’ve battered America just by calling them all nasty names. It would’ve saved a lot of money on pilot training too. And we know this because of something that Soulja Boy has done.
That’s right. Weedy little deaf-hop star (seriously, have you heard his voice? He’s like a seal on fire) has made the US Army cry with some words.
Soulja has a new song called ‘Let’s Be Real’ and he says “Fuck the FBI and the army troops.” That’s it. No context. Just, fuck ’em in general. Of course, the FBI are hard as nails and couldn’t give two hoots about these lyrics as they’re out in the world doing really nails things and not wasting their time listening to songs made by someone who used to have his swag on.
However, the US Army are all jumpy and have had their feelings well and truly hurt, leaving stores run by the United States Department of Defense crying into their khaki handkerchiefs and promising not to stock Soulja Boy’s upcoming album.
Not only that, some douche called Sgt Dunson has decided to record his own rap, which is full of naughty words against Soulja.
Dunson spits:
?What an ungrateful little fucker. This is my response video.?
Soulja, of course, has apologised. He adds though, pertinently:
?As a young man who grew up in the post-9/11 era, I have watched our country fight two wars that seem like they are never going to end. I have seen thousands and thousands of our brave men and women get killed in battle and often times, I think for what? A lot of people in this country are struggling to make ends meet and I think a lot about what if we had never gone to war.?
Yeah. Ungrateful little fucker.
Here’s Sgt Bumson’s response. Now can’t we all just sit down quietly and agree that both parties are deeply unlikeable now?
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or else we’ll kill you in your sleep or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS OR WE’LL KILL EVERYONE YOU’VE EVER LOVED!
cantstopme says
MOF GIMMERS,
in response to your article–NO WE CANNOT ALL JUST SIT DOWN QUIETLY AND AGREE THAT BOTH PARTIES ARE DEEPLY UNLIKEABLE. However, I do agree that you are deeply unlikeable and I hope you rot in hell for this article. I hope somebody will break in your house, take all your shit, beat the stupidity out of you, and fuck you in the ass–you fag. Your MOM and DAD are probably the worst piece of shit for having put you on this earth and having raised you to write shit like this. Get a clue, you scumbag.
Sincerely
Si Sharp says
Dear cantstopme,
Thank you for thoughtful comments. Just some points I wanted to make.
– who do you agree with that Mof, sorry- MOF, is deeply unlikeable. No-one has expressed this opinion in the article.
– you want someone to ‘break in’ his house. Do you therefore wish someone to breakdance in his house, or is this a typo and you wish someone to break in his horse? Either way these are unusual, if well-meaning, requests.
– do you already think he’s a fag, or would this be a direct result of the aforementioned ass-fucking? If you feel he already is a fag, why do you WANT someone to ass-fuck him? Presumably this wouldn’t be an especially big problem for him. Does this arouse you? I’m just curious.
– you have capitalised MOM and DAD. Why the emphasis? Was it to bring our attention to your quaint American spelling of ‘mom’. Perhaps your MOM could give his mum some child-rearing tips so that her next child can be a homophobic, internet hardman that wishes violence and buggery upon strangers.
Kind regards
Simon
d says
I guess the truly ungrateful ones are the UK ones who constantly dis on America. We may not be perfect but we kicked your ass when you wanted to tax us to death (that’s why your best talents come here now … to escape the taxes you need to keep the queen in depends) No matter that so many of our men died to keep you from having Hitler or Stalin tattooed across your faces. Guess we should have stayed home. Something to remember in the future. Say, how’s all those fucking Muslims coming around to riot all over your country and TAKE IT OVER? Fags.
Sgt Dunson says
So Soulja Boy makes a song that says “Fuck The U.S. Army” most likely on that same there were members of the U.S. Army that were killed in action somewhere in this world fighting for what we as Americans believe in. Freedom of speech is fine no problem but I respond to Soulja Boy and I’m the douche? I think thats just a little ridiculous. Who ever wrote this article is definitely not a patroit of America
Si says
Dear d,
Your ignorance of history is matched only by your desire to take credit for things that you personally had nothing whatsoever to do with.
I’m talking to you as an individual since I have an enormous fondness for your nation, and wouldn’t want to do your fellow countrymen the disservice of allowing you to represent them.
Love (in the specific bum-touchy way that seems to scare you so much)
Si
x
Si says
Dear Sgt Dunson,
If you read the article closely, Mof thinks you’re both douches. Perhaps you and this Soulja chap could get together and record a song dissing him?
Si
PS I don’t think you’re a douche, not only do I find your beef entertaining but I also make a habit of not starting fights with men who use heavy artillery.
Dominic says
I think Russia were the main reason the allies won the war…to be honest they lost millions of men and women fighting in that war. all whiole america was sitting on its ass wondering if it should go in or not..
stella says
Actually, Europe was sitting on its arse watching Stalin and Hitler share out the world among them (Ribbentrop–Molotv pact). Germany and Russia, were the reason of the war, and hadn’t it been for the US, today Europe would have been a huge concentration camp — it’s amazing how short people’s memory is. No one is good, so you have to choose the lesser evil.
Cookie Monster says
No, no, no. He obviously understood that Mof, busy being a MOF all day long, has had little time to break-in his new house. We all know that a house is like a pair of shoes, and some asses. He originally wrote, “I will break into your ass shoe house”, but there was some editing done once he appreciated that the result would be performing anal sex with all six toes on each foot curled. Also, being so up-front (ahem) about it is far too gauche for such a sofisticated (look to the left and cough) gentleman.
The final line refers to the fact that Mof is a sort of Superman, clearly. Fear the glowing green shit, MOF, for Lex Cantstopme is full of it (he’s probably bald and armed with a silly laugh that goes “teeheehee”). Bran is the only weapon, unless you turn to the nukes of bum fury – Indian food and laxatives. Then, he will be CANTSTOPME GOD HELP ME STOPME I CANT!
Careful now…
paul says
Maybe the US military should spend less time worrying about shitty rap songs and more time doing what it does best. You know, killing brown people and stealing their oil.
cantstopme says
@LOOSERVILLE <–ALL MOF DICK LOVERS
OH BOY (that's right, it's all capitalized)!!! I should've known that a bunch of fat internet gigs will target my comment for absence of sophistication, incorrect grammar, misplaced punctuation, etc. Most importantly, you MOF DICK LOVERS have just proven to me that you folks are far too ignorant and arrogant to have any discussions with ME. Fact is, MOF is disrespecting our troops and he will continue to do so because you FAGS support him. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for having disrespected the troops like that. I wonder what your families think about your lack of respect for the troops? Are they proud of you? If so, then I truly feel sorry for all of you.
cantstopme says
Oh one last thing,
To all of you MOF DICK SUCKERS
I hope somebody will break in your house, take all your shit, beat the stupidity out of you, and fuck you in the ass
Nonplussed says
Actually Stella, if it hadn’t been for Japan, the US would still be sitting on its own fat isolationist backside cheerfully doing business with that “huge concentration camp” you mention.
Welshie says
Dear cantstopme
Greetings from Looserville!
Don’t you just love the internet? Such endless opportunities to sit in your pants in your parents’ basement and shout at the world. Such a valuable use of your time. I’m sure your parents are very proud of you.
Yours
Fat internet gig
PS @Sgt Dunson this is a UK site, so no, we are not patriots of America. Thank you kindly for pointing out that fact of geography.
Choose Goose says
SOULJA BOY TELL ‘EM
Choose Goose says
This ain’t no History class Stella. don’t be mad cos Soulja Boy got bitches on deck and Sgt. Dunston got bullets flying at his neck.
kissoffboardy says
Where is this Looserville? And just what is it that is loose there? Morals? Security? Feet?
If it’s the former, I might take a holiday there, with maybe a view to a possible permanent move, depending on just how how loose the morals are. If it’s either of the other two options, I’d still like to know where it is, so I can avoid.
Si says
Anyone else feel like they’re watching an episode of South Park?
Mangosta says
I think Looserville is just south of Tighterville and a little to the west of Fetchmyspannerpleasedaveville.
d says
My father fought over there so I do have a personal interest in it dumbfuck. Please take your enormous fondness for America and stuff it up your ass. We certainly don’t need it. And I stand by my comment, you WOULD all be wearing Hitler and/or Stalin tattoos today if we hadn’t gotten involved. Really bothers you doesn’t it?
All your comments are very enlightening about your nation. Keep on representing!
d says
Hopefully, Si will fill in for Kenny
Cookie Monster says
You really have a thing for arses, don’t you? What a very strange obsession to have. All that rage-fueled fecal rape imagery can’t be healthy. I mean, really, if Mof were raised by his moms and dads specifically to write shit like this, don’t you think it would be a bit better, like a Stuart Heritage level of shit? Now there’s a worst piece of shit for having been put on this earth and raised to write shit, if I’ve ever read shit.
Si Sharp says
The way these comments are going I’m feeling more like Terrance and Philip in the movie.
Cookie Monster says
Let’s leave Canada out of this, shall we?
Pull my finger.
MarriedtoaBrit says
Holy Toledo! The only thing worse than the song, is this article and then most all of the comments that followed! LOL The song is rude and the military have a right to be offended, end of story. I’ve never heard a single song by this doofus, and now because of his lack of respect for people who would die for his ability to sing about it, I never plan to buy anything of his, so all in all, money saved.
I’m an American, I am proud of both countries and married a wonderful man from Britain, and I am appalled at all the name calling and childishness on here. Sadly, all these comments sound way worse than anything soulja boy said. Maybe he could just put all these comments in a rap song and make a boatload more money…
fuckyouasshole says
Are you fucking kidding me? Shut the hell up you dumb fuck. I hope you win the lottery and spend that money on s castration for yourself. Assholes like you should NOT reproduce. You are a small minded prick. Go fuck yourself and then do us all a favor and die fuckface.