Christina Aguilera has a problem. That problem is not knowing when to tone it down when she’s singing. That’s it. That’s the only thing that is truly wearisome about her. Even when she flubbed her lines while singing the American National Anthem, only bozos got narked.
However, there’s another thing that people keep mentioning – her weight.
See, Xtina has put a bit of chub on lately and pretty much no-one gives three hoots. And why would they? She’s not stealing food from your plate. However, women appear to be obsessed with the breadth of female celebrities with the caveat of ‘not that it matters of course!’ Either way, by not caring, Aguilera has been asked about her dress size. Again. Apparently, she’s thrilled.
Speculation that has come almost entirely from women’s magazines (who simultaneously complain about an imagined obsession with girl’s weight from men) about Christina’s weight has floated around for years now, and to address this notion with an air of ‘solidarity’, Aguilera has revealed she’s happy with her fuller figure. Naturally, all correspondence reveals that her boyfriend Matt Rutler is crazy for her curves as well!
This message is as follows: “Yeah, I’ve noticed that you’ve noticed my change in weight, but I’m cool with it and my boyfriend is also cool with it. See? It’s okay to be a little heavier. You can totally get the affirmation from men too because, ostensibly, that’s what it’s all about… right?”
Speaking to the press, she said:
“I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body, my son is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.”
She added:
“Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny. As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all that is all the confirmation I need.”
She’s right. Women are under the microscope. From other women. Women who can’t make their minds up whether to bitch about cellulite or constantly mention the size of a woman, regardless of whether she’s too thin or too fat. In addition to this, young feminists can bring the weight issue up to each other, saying how great it is that Christina is more ‘curvy’ now, thereby judging her on her appearance with the addendum of ‘she looks much better than she did when she was a stick-thin waif.’
In other news: Shut up.