Posts tagged as:

cheryl cole

Cher Lloyd Hates People With Opinions. Except Example.

by Joanna Bolouri

Last week our editor Mof made us all listen to Cher Lloyd’s ‘Swagger Jagger‘ causing a mixture of great sadness, violent outbursts and uncontrollable bleeding throughout the hecklerspray bedsit.  Not a pretty sight. So you can imagine our horror when we found out that another video has surfaced where she’s still attempting to convince us all she’s [...]

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Idiot Harry Potter Fans Stand In The Weather All Night For No Good Reason At All

by Mof Gimmers

Thousands of Harry Potter fans with nothing better to do decided to stand in a queue all night while the heavens opened on them, making them wetter than Ron Weasley’s demeanour. Trafalgar Square is now overrun with Potterists with the local council considering exterminating them like rats as they breed in the streets, birthing runts [...]

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Decoded: Cher Lloyd’s ‘Swagger Jagger’ Forces Pop Down Your Ear

by Mof Gimmers

Cher Lloyd can’t do a thing right. We suspect it isn’t actually anything to do with her, rather, the machinery that surrounds her. Every single move made by the financiers seems to be one clanging mistake after another. And so, painted into a corner with a neon sign flashing over her head saying ‘Unlikeable’, Cher [...]

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Cheryl Cole Wants Kids, Ashley Cole Wants To Get In The Glossies Again: Win, Win Right?

by Michael Park

Many of the UK’s “press outlets” have been reporting the reunion of Cheryl “Beat up a woman in a toilet” Cole and Ashley “shot a work experience kid with an air gun” Cole today. This is, to the tabloids, a moment on par with the a renunion of Big Ears from Noddy & the ‘Queen of [...]

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You Could Be Arrested For Taking Cheryl Cole’s Photograph Thanks To Superinjunction

by Mof Gimmers

We haven’t seen much of Cheryl Cole since America decided that it really, really hated her voice. As such, Cole almost vanished from the planet, if you don’t count the endless speculative articles that surrounded her for months. And we could well be seeing a lot less of her as she’s been granted an superinjunction [...]

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Emma Watson Learns To Talk Like A Stupid American

by Mof Gimmers

Howdy pardners! Emma ‘YeeHaw’ Watson is in the good ol’ U S of A to work on her American doodle dandy accent for a role in ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’, which is one of those varmint adaptation of the hella controversial book doobry  about teenage life and sexuality. Whyayeoudda! As you critters can [...]

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Cheryl Cole Hates America And Simon Cowell But Loves Girls Aloud

by Mof Gimmers

We live in a world that is dominated by girl groups… and it really is fantastic. Rock is pretty much dead in the water, filled with bloated, self-worthy fellas with guitars peddling pedestrian, plodding pish. The girls meanwhile are making fun, Friday night records. Apart from Adele. And now that Cheryl Cole has been ‘freed’ [...]

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Cheryl Who? Louis Walsh Deals Cutting Blow To Former Colleague Cheryl Cole

by Kris Silver

It’s fair to say that Cheryl Cole’s had a pretty rough few weeks. She lost her job on the US version of the X-Factor and was replaced on the UK version by Tulisa from N-Dubz. Oo’r Cheryl is just like the kitten at the animal shelter that no one wants. Looking up at us with [...]

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Simon Cowell Is As Good As A Dead Man To Cheryl Cole

by Mof Gimmers

One of the odd things that surrounds Cheryl Cole, is people’s propensity to note that she was working class. It is supposed to be a negative that she’s a chav who got lucky – like that’s a bad thing. It is unfortunate then, that she’s now indulging in a playgroup scrap with Simon Cowell, indeed [...]

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Paula Abdul Hates Cheryl Cole And Her Clothes

by Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray, there are just two things guaranteed to make us deliriously giddy. One is watching the munchkin scene from The Wizard of Oz, where they’re all dead happy and singing about death, making us truly believe that all tiny people singing people are filled with love for each other.  The other is Justin [...]

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