Posts tagged as:

celebrity

Kim Kardashian To Finally Get Her Comeuppance Via The Magic Of TV

by Robin Darke

Well all know that Kim Kardashian is the very pinnacle of media whoredom, leapfrogging other visionaries as Paris Hilton, Tulisa Contostavlos and the rest of the Kardashian sisters, to the crown of Most Annoying Slag 2012. And we all know why, because she wants to show everything that happens through the medium of television, even though her television shows are so tucked and trimmed that if they were pies, they would be the most disgusting tasting pies ever. Though they would look great.

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Karl Lagerfeld Kinda Has A Point When He Says Adele Is A Bit Fat

by Lady Robotnik

Karl Lagerfeld has the feminists and fat chicks bunching their panties in disgust over his latest outburst.

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Mark ‘Terrible Bastard From TOWIE’ Wright To Ruin Cinema All By Himself

by Euan L Davidson

Do you hate everything yet? Do you wake up angry, in cold sweats thinking “this is all just terrible. We have one chance at a viable, enjoyable life and yet the culture we digest is diluted, spoon-fed nonsense with people who are inexplicably famous, we should be worth far more than this” and then carve “4REAL” into your arm?

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Staring At David Beckham’s Groin Is Fine, Obviously (Unless You’re His Daughter)

by Mof Gimmers

Women! When you’ve stopped complaining about the negative, overtly sexual images of women in media, which breed an unrealistic body-ideal in young girls, we’d like to point you in the direction of David Beckham in his underpants. See, ol’ GoldenNads has done a photoshoot for some undercrackers he’s flogging through dreary clothing bazaar, H&M. A [...]

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Harry Potter Can’t Handle His Drink Because He’s A Massive Wimp

by Mof Gimmers

Harry Potter star, Harry Potter (or, Daniel Radcliffe as his mum refers to him when she’s shouting abuse up the stairs) is a wimp of the highest order. Why? Because wickle Dan Dan can’t handle his ale. And he’s proud to admit it. Apparently, Radcliffe had a drink problem. The problem was that, every single [...]

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Geri Halliwell Wants You To Look Like Her 15 Years Ago

by Robin Darke

People of the World, spice up your life, as Madhur Jaffrey advised us. And now, ladies, spicing up your life is even easier, because singer/author/actress/thin Geri Halliwell has finally done what everyone presumed she would have done years ago and released a range of clothes inspired by the iconic Union Jack dress she popped out [...]

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Nicki Minaj Sees ‘Stupid Hoe’ Banned For Being Deeply, Intensely Irritating

by Mof Gimmers

Nicki Minaj is a woman on a mission. Her mission is to become the most gifted, yet irritatingly wasteful popstar who ever lived. Her guest-raps have been a thing of wonderful, but when it comes to her own back-catalogue, she’s determined to make the most annoying pop music ever made. Seriously. She’s taken Daphne & [...]

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Julian Assange To Appear In The Simpsons, Despite All That Sex Crime Business

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! You know Julian Assange? What do you mean you don’t know who he is? He’s the man who leaks things. Allegedly, he leaks things all over people against their will (which he denies, natch). He also likes leaking documents which really gets up the nose of the world’s governments. Sounds like a thrilling bloke, [...]

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George Clooney Desperately Jonesing For Olympic Freebies In Interviews

by Mof Gimmers

The good looking version of Herman Munster, George Clooney, has used his charm to get a lot of things in his life. If you believe the rumours, his charm has worked best on throwing people off the scent that he might be gay. We’ve no idea if he’s gay or not and don’t rightly care. [...]

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Kate Moss Hates Twitter (Doesn’t Like Interacting With The Non-Famous)

by Mof Gimmers

Imagine being Kate Moss. What do you do with your life? You stand around in a variety of clothes, which people hang off your bony frame and generally lord it up like you have an actual talent other than your genetic make-up. Despite a clear lack of anything worthwhile, other than being sufficiently bland enough [...]

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