Articles tagged with: Celebrity fights
It's our lucky day - previously when we've watched fights between midgets and wonky-eyed wimps we've needed a credit card and a Bangkok hotel room with cable TV. But not any more because Prince and Radiohead are at loggerheads - the kind of loggerheads that will either end in legal action or a hot hot dwarf-on-perpetual-student erotic gangbang. It's all over YouTube footage of Prince performing Radiohead's Creep at a festival, you see. Prince being Prince, he's had all videos removed from the internet; but Radiohead being Radiohead, they want the videos unblocked because they wrote the song. Who'll win? It's unclear, but it had better not end up with the gangbang scenario, because that's going to result in one ugly unwanted baby.
Bitter, distasteful fights about a dead celebrity's possessions tend to take place while the dead celebrity is still warm. So we have nothing but respect for the family and former manager of Ray Charles, who managed to remain peaceful and amicable until he was long-dead, completely cold and probably quite rotten, and then they started having bitter, distasteful fights about his possessions. Ray Charles' 12 children have accused manager Joe Adams of tarnishing their father's memory by releasing two Ray Charles albums posthumously that Ray would have never approved. We're not so sure about that - Ray Charles Sings The Hits Of Emma Bunton and Ray Charles Mumbles To Himself About His Slippers have always been long-time favourites of ours.
We've always said that the problem with radio is that not enough fat people get violently angry and try to attack people on air. So god bless Howard Stern's tubby and slightly psychotic-seeming sidekick Artie Lange for having an honestly disturbing argument with his assistant, before apparently trying to attack him and then resigning, all live on air. It's what we've wanted to happen to Chris Moyles for years. Hats off to you, Artie Lange, you crazy, crazy bastard. And, yes, we've got the whole of Artie Lange's berserkoid meltdown after the jump.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have easily got the most beautiful family on Earth, and that's the way it'll stay until Zahara has clawed out Shiloh's eyeballs and stomped on them.
Yes, that's right - all of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids hate each other to pieces. Literally to pieces - it's like living with a gaggle of midget Naomi Campbells.
According to reports, Angelina Jolie's adopted brood have started a flurry of three-on-one attacks on her biological daughter Shiloh Nouvel. But Angelina likes nothing more than a fair fight, which is why - rather than the twins everyone expects - Angelina Jolie is actually gestating two fully-armed mecha-warriors from the future up her vagina to help level the playing field. To level it with plasma cannons.
Bob Marley movies are a lot like buses - you wait hours for one then two come at once, plus if you go on one late at night a creepy drunk man will sit next to you and try to stroke your knee.
We've forgotten what our point was now - something about Bob Marley trying to stroke our knee, we think.
No, it's all coming back now - there are two Bob Marley movies on the way, except that they're coming out so close together that an almighty scrap has kicked off about who gets to use Bob Marley's songs. Honestly, they should just flip for it - winner gets Redemption Song, loser gets Craven Choke Puppy. Simple.
The trailer for the new Incredible Hulk movie has been released, and what it lacks in destructive abstract wads of emotion it makes up for with SMAAASH!
However, let's not get too excited about The Incredible Hulk because reports are coming in that Incredible Hulk star Edward Norton and Incredible Hulk studio Marvel are clashing over the final edit, and things are getting so frosty that the movie's success might be jeopardised by the feud.
We don't know the details, but given that it's an Incredible Hulk movie, we hope the winner is the side who wants to do away with dialogue, narrative, female characters and feelings and just have two hours of the Hulk headbutting petrol tankers into fleets of exploding helicopters. And we think we pretty much speak for everyone here.
If you were angling for an endorsement deal, what would go for? Cars? Speedboats? Batter-based breakfast delicacies?
Kid Rock seems to have his eye on the last one, because everything he does seems to revolve around waffles. Not content with allegedly smashing up a Waffle House in a fight recently, Kid Rock has now played a benefit show in one.
Waffles, that's all you ever get from Kid Rock these days. Anyone would think he was a Belgian if it weren't for his rubbish haircut, funny accent and suspect-looking hygiene practises. Wait a minute, all Belgians have all of those things too - throw in a side-job moonlighting as a motorway service station toilet attendant who won't let you go for a piss unless you first drop a coin into his grubby polystyrene cup and we'd be convinced that Kid Rock was Belgian through and through.
For as much as the world justifiably makes fun of Fabio, not many would perhaps make as much fun to his face.
Two feet behind him sniggering and pointing? Yes. While watching his fake butter commercials from the comfort and safety of our living room? Naturally. But not to his face, because he’s actually a pretty big dude, and if you get beaten up by Fabio you may as well just fasten a plastic bag over your face right tight because you only have a lifetime of crippling humiliation to look forward to.
According to an interview in April’s edition of Esquire magazine, actor George Clooney had somewhat of a similar realisation when he had a nasty encounter with Fabio in a restaurant. Well, it's about figgin' time he spoke up about an incident that was barely an incident and everyone had forgotten about. Yeesh!
