For as much as the world justifiably makes fun of Fabio, not many would perhaps make as much fun to his face.

Two feet behind him sniggering and pointing? Yes. While watching his fake butter commercials from the comfort and safety of our living room? Naturally. But not to his face, because he’s actually a pretty big dude, and if you get beaten up by Fabio you may as well just fasten a plastic bag over your face right tight because you only have a lifetime of crippling humiliation to look forward to.  

According to an interview in April’s edition of Esquire magazine, actor George Clooney had somewhat of a similar realisation when he had a nasty encounter with Fabio in a restaurant. Well, it's about figgin' time he spoke up about an incident that was barely an incident and everyone had forgotten about. Yeesh! 

Let us set the scene for you: it’s a balmy, humid night. A tall, beefy Italian man bursts through the door of a trendy Los Angeles restaurant on a white stallion, trumpets blaring, his partially unbuttoned white shirt clinging to his sweaty, tan physique. His windswept hair freely flowing in the polluted wind with a breathless beauty cradled in one arm, with the head of a romance novel critic on a sabre raised gallantly in the other. What’s that? No one is paying attention to the triumphant Fabio, oozing of sexual appeal for desperate women?

No, they’re not. The shutters meant for Fabio seem to be catching George Clooney and his girlfriend instead. You know. Someone people actually care about. 

That was roughly the scenario with a light sprinkling of dramatisation when George Clooney and Fabio engaged in a heated argument at a Los Angeles restaurant back in November. According to next month’s issue of Esquire magazine, the men were arguing because some of Fabio’s guests were taking pictures of George Clooney and his date. There were reports also at the time that George had called one of Fabio's guests a 'fat cow', and the two men apparently exchanged words. Not just any words, but angry words. Apparently, the men had to be physically separated.  

We’re not sure if the problem was that George didn’t like his privacy being violated, or if Fabio thought George was calling him a fat cow, but either way the argument may have erupted into an impromptu Celebrity Boxing match had not George Clooney taken what was probably a drunken moment to think about the consequences. Apparently, Fabio has said that he could take George Clooney in a fight. George Clooney shares his thoughts with us all about this in the Esquire interview: 

"Yeah, that's probably true. He's a big guy. There is a moment when you are actually in the argument and you're thinking, 'If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain.’ I wouldn't shake that."  

No, Georgie, you wouldn’t. You’re already trying to shake the nasty residue of the Ocean’s Eleven sequels. You’ve got too much on your plate to add a Fabio arse whooping.

Read more: 

Clooney: I'm not 'gay, gay, gay,' just 'gay, gay' - Chicago Sun Times