Articles tagged with: Celebrities in hospital
Old Lady Pushes Out Baby Made With Clay Aiken’s Chromosomal Input
Somewhere - recently - in a dark corner of a hospital, new life was given. It sprang forth from its mother's womb. Taking a first invigorating breath, it leapt off the table - and then just stood there taking everything in. It thought of the struggle it had just endured to fight its way out of his mother's colon, and it thought of the struggles yet to come. But mostly it was just glad its mamma's smaller intestine could no longer coil around it all snake-like. You ever had a poo-filled serpent put the squeeze on you? It's unpleasant to say the least. Maybe that's why Clay Aiken's baby wanted out so bad - and it did! That's right, Clay Aiken is a father. His child was born, and unless some sort of crazy time machine causes him to get sucked back up somebody's freshly stretched woo-woo, he's here to stay.
Somewhere - recently - in a dark corner of a hospital, new life was given. It sprang forth from its mother's womb. Taking a first invigorating breath, it leapt off the table - and then just stood there taking everything in. It thought of the struggle it had just endured to fight its way out of his mother's colon, and it thought of the struggles yet to come. But mostly it was just glad its mamma's smaller intestine could no longer coil around it all snake-like. You ever had a poo-filled serpent put the squeeze on you? It's unpleasant to say the least. Maybe that's why Clay Aiken's baby wanted out so bad - and it did! That's right, Clay Aiken is a father. His child was born, and unless some sort of crazy time machine causes him to get sucked back up somebody's freshly stretched woo-woo, he's here to stay.
Morgan Freeman Has a Car Accident: is ‘Recovering’
Unfortunately, it's not a DVD outtake for Driving Miss Daisy - that would be much easier to make light of. No - Morgan Freeman is the latest to be involved in the so-called 'curse' of The Dark Knight, after he was involved in a car accident on Sunday night, which officials referred to as 'serious'. The 71-year-old actor will require surgery on a shattered elbow, as well as time for other less serious injuries to his neck and shoulder to heal. While initial reports said Freeman was in a serious state, these have since rescinded and he is expected to make a comfortable, if slow, recovery from his injuries.
Unfortunately, it's not a DVD outtake for Driving Miss Daisy - that would be much easier to make light of. No - Morgan Freeman is the latest to be involved in the so-called 'curse' of The Dark Knight, after he was involved in a car accident on Sunday night, which officials referred to as 'serious'. The 71-year-old actor will require surgery on a shattered elbow, as well as time for other less serious injuries to his neck and shoulder to heal. While initial reports said Freeman was in a serious state, these have since rescinded and he is expected to make a comfortable, if slow, recovery from his injuries.
Bernie Mac Not Dead. May Be Dying. Probably Not Though.
There are some 'are they-aren't they?' games that we prefer not to play, as they're simply not as much fun as they should be. Assuming that Angelina Jolie has had herself some kids is one version of the game we're more than willing to play. Even when it's as clearly wrong as some people can be. That's almost fun, if you're into that kind of thing. But a new take on the game seems to have been popping up over the course of the year - first we had Patrick Swayze and his cancer that was definitely going to kill him within weeks, then it didn't, leaving the public confused and Swayze looking healthier than ever. Now it's the turn of Bernie "I took over from Bill Murray in Charlie's Angels" Mac to keep the press and public frantically guessing as to whether he's actually alive, dying or dead. Frankly, it's quite a morbid game and we don't want to play much.
There are some 'are they-aren't they?' games that we prefer not to play, as they're simply not as much fun as they should be. Assuming that Angelina Jolie has had herself some kids is one version of the game we're more than willing to play. Even when it's as clearly wrong as some people can be. That's almost fun, if you're into that kind of thing. But a new take on the game seems to have been popping up over the course of the year - first we had Patrick Swayze and his cancer that was definitely going to kill him within weeks, then it didn't, leaving the public confused and Swayze looking healthier than ever. Now it's the turn of Bernie "I took over from Bill Murray in Charlie's Angels" Mac to keep the press and public frantically guessing as to whether he's actually alive, dying or dead. Frankly, it's quite a morbid game and we don't want to play much.
Amy Winehouse’s Mental Hospital Spaz Out Blamed On Ecstasy
Yesterday brought the news that Amy Winehouse had decided to take a stroll to the hospital. It wasn’t because she finally realised she was slowly destroying her insides, it was simply down to having a crazy reaction to the medication slowly digesting in her stomach. Many people have placed bets on her dying before the end of the year due to her body slowly fading away and her apparent ability to always be pictured with a ciggie and a can of Superbrew. Yesterday saw a couple of people prematurely attempting to cash in that betting slip, but they were wrong to do so - those good people at the NHS managed to fix her up with some sticky tape and drinks straws. It's now surfaced that she’s returned to hospital and her ever-suffering father Mitch has told us what caused her freakout. It was indeed an issue with drugs, but not the good kind. Oh no!
Yesterday brought the news that Amy Winehouse had decided to take a stroll to the hospital. It wasn’t because she finally realised she was slowly destroying her insides, it was simply down to having a crazy reaction to the medication slowly digesting in her stomach. Many people have placed bets on her dying before the end of the year due to her body slowly fading away and her apparent ability to always be pictured with a ciggie and a can of Superbrew. Yesterday saw a couple of people prematurely attempting to cash in that betting slip, but they were wrong to do so - those good people at the NHS managed to fix her up with some sticky tape and drinks straws. It's now surfaced that she’s returned to hospital and her ever-suffering father Mitch has told us what caused her freakout. It was indeed an issue with drugs, but not the good kind. Oh no!
Amy Winehouse in Hospital Due to Medication Flipping Out Inside Her Guts
Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital yesterday due to a reaction to some super ultra-mysterious medication, so don’t even try to guess what it is. But this is good news. No really, it is. This provides science with empirical evidence about the number of cigarettes and mini bottles of booze cardiac muscle can tolerate, plus Amy gets another punch on her hospital card. One more visit and she gets a free colonoscopy with the purchase of a stomach pumping.
Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital yesterday due to a reaction to some super ultra-mysterious medication, so don’t even try to guess what it is. But this is good news. No really, it is. This provides science with empirical evidence about the number of cigarettes and mini bottles of booze cardiac muscle can tolerate, plus Amy gets another punch on her hospital card. One more visit and she gets a free colonoscopy with the purchase of a stomach pumping.
Lindsay Lohan Apparently Hit By Motorbike; Motorbike Apparently OK
Ever since Lindsay Lohan decided to trade alleged drug abuse for alleged lesbianism, you have to admit that she's been a bit of a snore. It's not so much Lindsay Lohan getting into trouble that we miss, rather the dazzling array of misinformation thumped out by a billion sources directly after Lindsay Lohan got into any trouble. What? You missed that too? Well this must be your lucky day. You see, it's been reported that Lindsay Lohan was hit by a motorbike in New York this weekend - reports backed up by the fact that the hospital she went to admitted someone called Lindsay Lohan on the night the accident took place. But Lindsay Lohan's family and publicist are denying that anything happened at all. Welcome back Lindsay. We've missed you.
Ever since Lindsay Lohan decided to trade alleged drug abuse for alleged lesbianism, you have to admit that she's been a bit of a snore. It's not so much Lindsay Lohan getting into trouble that we miss, rather the dazzling array of misinformation thumped out by a billion sources directly after Lindsay Lohan got into any trouble. What? You missed that too? Well this must be your lucky day. You see, it's been reported that Lindsay Lohan was hit by a motorbike in New York this weekend - reports backed up by the fact that the hospital she went to admitted someone called Lindsay Lohan on the night the accident took place. But Lindsay Lohan's family and publicist are denying that anything happened at all. Welcome back Lindsay. We've missed you.
DMX Arrested. Again. Snore
One of these days, we swear to god, DMX is going to do something within the confines of the law - and that'll be a story. But until then DMX will just keep blundering through life breaking laws and getting arrested with such dizzying frequency that all the different arrests just sort of blur into one giant meta-arrest that'll one day take on a life of its own and destroy gravity or something. Which is what happened to DMX this weekend, more or less. Surprise surprise, DMX has been arrested again. This time, however, is special. This time DMX was arrested for using a fake name and social security number to avoid paying a hospital bill. Just one more arrest this year and DMX will have scored himself the title of Most Pointlessly Illegal Rapper Alive. Eat it, Busta Rhymes!
One of these days, we swear to god, DMX is going to do something within the confines of the law - and that'll be a story. But until then DMX will just keep blundering through life breaking laws and getting arrested with such dizzying frequency that all the different arrests just sort of blur into one giant meta-arrest that'll one day take on a life of its own and destroy gravity or something. Which is what happened to DMX this weekend, more or less. Surprise surprise, DMX has been arrested again. This time, however, is special. This time DMX was arrested for using a fake name and social security number to avoid paying a hospital bill. Just one more arrest this year and DMX will have scored himself the title of Most Pointlessly Illegal Rapper Alive. Eat it, Busta Rhymes!
Angelina Jolie’s Twins To Remain Gut-Bound For The Foreseeable
When Angelina Jolie was shipped to her maternity clinic a couple of days ago, everyone assumed that it was because she was just about to sprout babies.
No such luck, we're afraid. Yesterday Angelina Jolie's obstetrician decided to make a sudden statement on her condition. And then, just when the world was holding its breath for something along the lines of "They've been born! And they're beautiful!" what it actually got was "They're not ready yet! Come back in a few weeks!"
So Angelina Jolie isn't going to give birth any time soon, then, although she's going to be staying in her maternity ward until then anyway. We're getting a little tired of all this waiting though - Angelina's got until the end of the week to have her babies, otherwise we go to France armed with a toilet plunger and whatever it is you cut umbilical cords with. Her choice.
