This is it – the moment that everyone with a slightly sinister personal investment in the lives of people they're never likely to meet has been waiting for.
That's right, Angelina Jolie has been checked into a French hospital so that she can give birth to those babies that have been clogging up her insides for what seems like a couple of years. Don't worry, though, Angelina Jolie isn't going to have her twins just yet – she's just checked in for a rest before all the gory stuff happens.
But it's still exciting. What will Angelina Jolie call her children this time? We're actually hoping that the twins are named after something specific to the region they're born in – in which case we can expect to soon be introduced to little Unshaven Female Armpit Jolie-Pitt and its sibling, Halfhearted Attitude To Work Jolie-Pitt.
Is it just us, or has this Angelina Jolie pregnancy been a little bit of a letdown? Last time you'll remember that Angelina Jolie embarked on an epic voyage to Namibia to have her baby, where she managed to combine giving birth with raising global awareness of one of the world's most desperately impoverished regions.
This time? This time Angelina Jolie's going to have her twins in Nice, where she'll be able to combine giving birth with raising global awareness of, what, fancy yachts? Overpriced salads? That's hardly trying very hard, is it?
Anyway, after months and months of watching Jack Black put his foot in it, and getting fooled by at least one humiliatingly premature birth report, Angelina Jolie is finally ready to have those twins of hers. Yesterday Angelina checked into a hospital where she plans to try out some of the famous French bedpans for a few days before a Frenchman comes along and hacks the babies out of her. This Is London reports:
The Hollywood star will stay at the clinic in Nice until she has given birth as part of a pre-booked appointment in a maternity clinic. Spokeswoman for the Hospital Lenval clinic, Nadine Bauer, told America's In Touch magazine: 'Ms. Jolie came to the hospital last night as part of a preplanned rest period, before she gives birth. 'The visit has been planned for a long time, there are no complications. She is just resting.'
And what a rest it'll be – surrounded by the agonised screams and unexpected pooing of several other heavily pregnant women. We don't know about you, but that's how we like to relax as well. We can't even go to sleep now unless we're listening to a soothing CD of a woman crapping herself and shrieking "Get it out of me! GET IT OUT OF ME!" for 18 hours. Honestly, Angelina Jolie sure is one lucky lady.
Anyway, don't hold your breath for Angelina Jolie to give birth any time especially soon, because she has to wait for her American gynaecologist Jason Rothbart to fly to France before anything gets to snake along her birth canal.
But they're coming, so you only have a few more days until you're clobbered over the head with a billion mindnumbing magazine pictures of Brad Pitt gurning at two anonymous-looking babies. We just hope you can wait that long.