Articles tagged with: Arrested celebrities
DMX Arrested. Again. Snore
One of these days, we swear to god, DMX is going to do something within the confines of the law - and that'll be a story. But until then DMX will just keep blundering through life breaking laws and getting arrested with such dizzying frequency that all the different arrests just sort of blur into one giant meta-arrest that'll one day take on a life of its own and destroy gravity or something. Which is what happened to DMX this weekend, more or less. Surprise surprise, DMX has been arrested again. This time, however, is special. This time DMX was arrested for using a fake name and social security number to avoid paying a hospital bill. Just one more arrest this year and DMX will have scored himself the title of Most Pointlessly Illegal Rapper Alive. Eat it, Busta Rhymes!
One of these days, we swear to god, DMX is going to do something within the confines of the law - and that'll be a story. But until then DMX will just keep blundering through life breaking laws and getting arrested with such dizzying frequency that all the different arrests just sort of blur into one giant meta-arrest that'll one day take on a life of its own and destroy gravity or something. Which is what happened to DMX this weekend, more or less. Surprise surprise, DMX has been arrested again. This time, however, is special. This time DMX was arrested for using a fake name and social security number to avoid paying a hospital bill. Just one more arrest this year and DMX will have scored himself the title of Most Pointlessly Illegal Rapper Alive. Eat it, Busta Rhymes!
Andy Dick Arrested For Drug-Centric Booby Fondling
Some people would consider it an honour to have unfunny sitcom star Andy Dick yank down their top and grab their boob. Sadly, those people - who we'll assume have some sort of aggressive cognitive dysfunction - weren't around yesterday morning when Andy Dick was arrested for sexual battery after, you guessed it, fondling a girl's boob and yanking down her top in a bar. With some drugs in his pocket. Andy Dick's arrest has raised a number of serious questions. Questions like 'Has Andy Dick fallen off the wagon again?', 'Who's going to employ Andy Dick after this?' and 'Andy Dick fondled a girl? A girl? Are you sure it was definitely a girl? Wow, who knew?'
Some people would consider it an honour to have unfunny sitcom star Andy Dick yank down their top and grab their boob. Sadly, those people - who we'll assume have some sort of aggressive cognitive dysfunction - weren't around yesterday morning when Andy Dick was arrested for sexual battery after, you guessed it, fondling a girl's boob and yanking down her top in a bar. With some drugs in his pocket. Andy Dick's arrest has raised a number of serious questions. Questions like 'Has Andy Dick fallen off the wagon again?', 'Who's going to employ Andy Dick after this?' and 'Andy Dick fondled a girl? A girl? Are you sure it was definitely a girl? Wow, who knew?'
Did Anne Hathaway Grass Her Shady Boyfriend Up To The Feds?
Anne Hathaway has it all - a glittering movie career, a winning personality and a face that's just very slightly too big for her skull.
But there's one thing that Anne Hathaway doesn't have any more, and that's a millionaire Italian boyfriend who's been arrested for possibly telling lies about being pals with the Pope to trick other stupid millionaires into giving him truckloads of cash. She hasn't even got one of those. What an idiot.
Anyway, it seems as if Anne Hathaway bailed from her relationship with Raffaello Follieri right before he was arrested by the FBI and locked up on a $21 million bail. A lucky escape?
Not according to some friends of Follieri, who are now claiming that Anne Hathaway was the person who ratted him out to the FBI in the first place. Exciting, huh? Just imagine how much more exciting it'd be if a) we knew who Raffaello Follieri was and b) we gave a toss about Anne Hathaway.
Man Forbidden From Touching Cher, Requests Incarceration
Also, one day we'd really like to touch Cher - if we plan things right we can do it seconds before we touch that soap if you know what we mean. Some drunk in a bar was pretty set on touching her recently - he tried a whole bunch of times.
But alas, destiny was not in his favor, and she stabbed his throat instead.
She didn't stab him. We reiterate - Cher has never stabbed anybody. How could she? Her adult granddaughter was using the steak knife to cut Cher's meat into more age-friendly sizes.
hecklerspray is on a waiting list three-years long for the privilege of touching some soap that's said to have once washed the velvety-nethers of Louis Farrakhan during the million man march.
Also, one day we'd really like to touch Cher - if we plan things right we can do it seconds before we touch that soap if you know what we mean. Some drunk in a bar was pretty set on touching her recently - he tried a whole bunch of times.
But alas, destiny was not in his favor, and she stabbed his throat instead.
She didn't stab him. We reiterate - Cher has never stabbed anybody. How could she? Her adult granddaughter was using the steak knife to cut Cher's meat into more age-friendly sizes.
Cher can cut her own meat. We reiterate - Cher can cut her own meat.
Amy Winehouse May Need To Use New Delivery Service. Allegedly.
Think of some of the greatest jobs in the world from a purely money-making perspective and 'Amy Winehouse's drug dealer' is sure to pop up near the top of the list. Maybe it would drop below the ranking of something like 'supermodel massage artist who earns £500 a minute and is in constant demand' or a hecklerspray employee, but all in all it's a role that you certainly wouldn't sniff at. Though there would surely be some form of sniffing involved. And general inhaling. And breaking down of constituent ingredients into something more easily absorbed into the bloodstream. You get the idea. But alas, for two people have been arrested on charges of being the beehived crooner's personal suppliers. The licence to print money may be no more, it would seem.
Think of some of the greatest jobs in the world from a purely money-making perspective and 'Amy Winehouse's drug dealer' is sure to pop up near the top of the list. Maybe it would drop below the ranking of something like 'supermodel massage artist who earns £500 a minute and is in constant demand' or a hecklerspray employee, but all in all it's a role that you certainly wouldn't sniff at. Though there would surely be some form of sniffing involved. And general inhaling. And breaking down of constituent ingredients into something more easily absorbed into the bloodstream. You get the idea. But alas, for two people have been arrested on charges of being the beehived crooner's personal suppliers. The licence to print money may be no more, it would seem.
Jamie Lynn Spears Gets A ‘Stalky’ Paparazzo Arrested
Poor old Jamie Lynn Spears - ever since Miley Cyrus decided to show some of her back off to the world, people just aren't as interested in pregnant teenagers. That might just be for the best though, because as soon as anyone does show the slightest bit on interest in Jamie Lynn Spears, she flips out and gets them arrested for stalking her, which is what happened to photographer Edwin Merrino a couple of days ago. Merrino denies the charges, but then again who can blame Jamie Lynn Spears for protecting her unborn child so fiercely? If she starts letting strangers get to close to it, then the baby might hear their voice and start to prenatally learn words and concepts that Jamie Lynn Spears herself doesn't understand. Have you ever become the slave of a malevolent super-intelligent unborn baby dictator? It isn't very bloody nice, trust us.
Poor old Jamie Lynn Spears - ever since Miley Cyrus decided to show some of her back off to the world, people just aren't as interested in pregnant teenagers. That might just be for the best though, because as soon as anyone does show the slightest bit on interest in Jamie Lynn Spears, she flips out and gets them arrested for stalking her, which is what happened to photographer Edwin Merrino a couple of days ago. Merrino denies the charges, but then again who can blame Jamie Lynn Spears for protecting her unborn child so fiercely? If she starts letting strangers get to close to it, then the baby might hear their voice and start to prenatally learn words and concepts that Jamie Lynn Spears herself doesn't understand. Have you ever become the slave of a malevolent super-intelligent unborn baby dictator? It isn't very bloody nice, trust us.
Tatum O’Neal: ‘Whew, Thank God They Arrested Me For Buying All That Crack’
If we'd just been arrested for buying a bunch of crack and powder cocaine, we'd be fairly grumpy about it - start the day without crack? We're not animals! However, Tatum O'Neal is positively thrilled that the police caught her buying crack in a sting operation. According to her it was apparently the first time she'd bought herself any crack after years of sobriety, and the arrest was like a rough, humiliating intervention from Jesus Christ himself. What's more, Tatum O'Neal says that she only turned to crack because her dog died. Seriously. Maybe this is where Amy Winehouse went so wrong - she'd have been an angelic little choirgirl if her guinea pig hadn't got the sniffles when she was six and a half.
If we'd just been arrested for buying a bunch of crack and powder cocaine, we'd be fairly grumpy about it - start the day without crack? We're not animals! However, Tatum O'Neal is positively thrilled that the police caught her buying crack in a sting operation. According to her it was apparently the first time she'd bought herself any crack after years of sobriety, and the arrest was like a rough, humiliating intervention from Jesus Christ himself. What's more, Tatum O'Neal says that she only turned to crack because her dog died. Seriously. Maybe this is where Amy Winehouse went so wrong - she'd have been an angelic little choirgirl if her guinea pig hadn't got the sniffles when she was six and a half.
Tatum O’Neal ‘Buys Crack’, Gets Nicked
Think of Tatum O'Neal and you'll probably think of the adorable 10-year-old who won an Oscar for singing Keep Your Sunny Side Up in Paper Moon. Unless you've happened to hear the news about Tatum O'Neal getting arrested for allegedly buying crack and powder cocaine in an NYPD sting yesterday, of course, in which case you probably see Tatum O'Neal as a hellish cross between Amy Winehouse and, well, Ryan O'Neal. Don't dwell on that for too long, by the way. It'll scar you. But, yes, Tatum O'Neal has been arrested for apparently buying crack. A former child star getting in trouble with drugs - honestly, wonders will never cease.
Think of Tatum O'Neal and you'll probably think of the adorable 10-year-old who won an Oscar for singing Keep Your Sunny Side Up in Paper Moon. Unless you've happened to hear the news about Tatum O'Neal getting arrested for allegedly buying crack and powder cocaine in an NYPD sting yesterday, of course, in which case you probably see Tatum O'Neal as a hellish cross between Amy Winehouse and, well, Ryan O'Neal. Don't dwell on that for too long, by the way. It'll scar you. But, yes, Tatum O'Neal has been arrested for apparently buying crack. A former child star getting in trouble with drugs - honestly, wonders will never cease.
