Think of Tatum O’Neal and you’ll probably think of the adorable 10-year-old who won an Oscar for singing Keep Your Sunny Side Up in Paper Moon.
Unless you’ve happened to hear the news about Tatum O’Neal getting arrested for allegedly buying crack and powder cocaine in an NYPD sting yesterday, of course, in which case you probably see Tatum O’Neal as a hellish cross between Amy Winehouse and, well, Ryan O’Neal. Don’t dwell on that for too long, by the way. It’ll scar you.
But, yes, Tatum O’Neal has been arrested for apparently buying crack. A former child star getting in trouble with drugs – honestly, wonders will never cease.
Thanks to their pan-generational successes and award-winning glory, the O’Neals are like Hollywood royalty. And it’s nice that they’re good at something because, seriously, they’re effing useless at everything else.
The O’Neals were responsible for perhaps our favourite-ever hecklerspray story, when Ryan O’Neal fired a gun at his son Griffin O’Neal because Griffin O’Neal was thrashing a metal fireplace poker around and hit his girlfriend in the head with it during a dispute that had something to do with Redmond O’Neal being chained to the staircase like a dog. That’s so impressive on so many different levels that it’s not even news any more – it’s art.
But it’s not quite perfect, because Tatum O’Neal didn’t have anything to do with it. You know, Tatum O’Neal – the youngest-ever Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner. The woman from one episode of Sex And The City and 28 episodes of that crappy Denis Leary show about the fireman. The woman who married John McEnroe, got addicted to heroin and lost custody of her children. Tatum O’Neal. You remember.
Anyway, Tatum O’Neal has been making up for lost time – because she’s just been arrested on suspicion of buying crack and powder cocaine from a New York dealer in a police sting operation. Reuters reports:
Academy Award-winning actress Tatum O’Neal was arrested in New York on Sunday for buying crack cocaine, CNN reported on Monday. O’Neal, 44, was arrested after she was seen making a purchase from a drug dealer, CNN reported on its Web site, citing New York police.
We should point out here that Tatum O’Neal hasn’t been charged with anything yet because, although she was seen buying something from a drug dealer and was then caught with what appeared to be crack in her possession, she might not have bought crack from the drug dealer. Perhaps it accidentally fell into her pocket as she was buying his services as a childrens’ entertainer, or maybe what he actually sold her was a bag of human teeth. Easily mistakable, don’t you know.
But if Tatum O’Neal was buying crack for herself, then the recovery from her addiction will be far more painful than this arrest, especially since the drug rehabilitation of choice in the O’Neal family involves a banister, a dog chain, a fireplace poker and a gun. But on the plus side, a public battle with crack addiction does have its benefits – Tatum’s chances of copping off with the dirty-looking pensioner from Babyshambles has like doubled or something.
Sarah says
I feel for her and hope she gets herself back into treatment! Pray for her, don’t condemn her for this relapse. Everyone makes mistakes and she is no different. Drug abuse is a terrible problem and everyone deserves a chance at life. I hope Tatum gets the help she needs to stay sober and remain in society as a functional, decent human. Don’t go down in flames girl! Keep your head up and fight to stay clean!
toolahroolahroolah says
An O’Neal on drugs is about as unusual as a drunken Barrymore or a gun-toting rapper.