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Arnold Schwarzenegger

Arnold Schwarzenegger Decides Crying In A Corner Is Better Than Acting

by Mof Gimmers

Arnold ‘Gropey McGroperson’ Schwarzenegger has decided that it might be best if he kept a low profile for a while and has delayed all future film projects. Luckily for you, that means he won’t be making a new Terminator film or showing off his withered, penis shaped pectoral muscles. This is because Arnie, who talks [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Took Wife To Secret Love-Child’s Party, Which Is Considerate

by Mof Gimmers

You know how Arnold Schwarzenegger likes groping women without asking them if its okay (allegedly, allegedly) and thumbing his steroid withered member into house staff until they get pregnant with his child? Well, surely he couldn’t be any more crass? Wrong. This is Arnie we’re talking about here. He can plumb new levels of fistinmouthery. [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Didn’t Have An Affair As Such When He Got One Of His Staff Pregnant

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Arnold Schwarzenegger said that he hadn’t been having an affair with a woman called Gigi? Remember that? Well, while that may be true, he didn’t get around to mentioning that he did put his steroid shrivelled chap inside one of his staff. Better yet is that good ol’ Arnie managed to do it [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Children Mindlessly Grin While Everyone Mutters The Word ‘Affair’

by Mof Gimmers

Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger has turned his back on politics and therefore, the people of America who made him so nauseatingly wealthy, he’s only gone and spat in the open wound by deciding that he doesn’t love his wife anymore. Of course, this leaves Arnie wide open to accusations of being a ghoulish, hateful man. [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Gives Up On America And His Marriage

by Mof Gimmers

Now that Arnold Schwarzenegger has stopped playing at being a politician (seriously, what were you thinking California?), he no longer has to pretend that he’s a nice, upstanding bloke. It has taken him a mere 4 months to decide that, not only is he giving up caring about America, but also, his wife. That’s right [...]

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Doesn’t Mind If You Skin Up And Light A Great Big Reefer, Okay?

by Mof Gimmers

Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t a very good actor and a worse politician. However, all you stoners who have chuckled your way through various lines from Predator or Conan The Barbarian can now breathe a little easier. If you’re lungs aren’t shot from hammering bongs every night this month. Basically, Arnie has claimed that no one cares [...]

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Stan Lee To The Rescue!

by Kris Silver

Stan Lee is a God to millions of geeks everywhere and a seemingly harmless, eccentric old man to the rest of us. Lee is the former president and CEO of Marvel comics, the publisher that brought us such legends as Spiderman, the X Men and Squirrel Girl (seriously). Why is a washed up old geek [...]

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Terminator Salvation – Blu-ray Review

by David Scarborough

Thanks to some unfortunate incident called Charlie’s Angels, the regrettably named McG has been tarred with the same brush as his peers Brett Ratner and Uwe Boll. In fact, his handle on the Terminator story turned out to be a surprisingly decent entry into the muscular Arnie franchise. McG knew he had much to prove, [...]

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Top 25 Hollywood Hardmen

by David Schwartz

They may be able to talk the talk – but can they really walk the walk? Hollywood movies are littered with so-called tough guys. But take away their stunt doubles, green screens and fake guns and what do you have left? Nic Cage? He’s just a lanky streak of piss. Mel Gibson? Give me a [...]

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Schwarzengger In Terminator Salvation? Nobody Knows, Or Cares

by Stuart Heritage

It had it all – a furious star, a nonsense story, an oddly-named director – but now Terminator Salvation has more.

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