Arnold ‘Gropey McGroperson’ Schwarzenegger has decided that it might be best if he kept a low profile for a while and has delayed all future film projects. Luckily for you, that means he won’t be making a new Terminator film or showing off his withered, penis shaped pectoral muscles.
This is because Arnie, who talks funny, is going to be “focusing on personal matters”, according to a statement.
And this is all because Schwarzenegger couldn’t resist having sex with one of his staff without a prophylactic covering his wrinkled piece. That’s right. Even though he had a seemingly cool and obviously attractive wife, he figured he’d father a secret child with a maid and then keep it all a secret while playing at being a politician.
It goes without saying that he’s been dumped by his wife, Maria Shriver.
The full statement said:
“Governor Schwarzenegger is focusing on personal matters and is not willing to commit to any production schedules or timelines. This includes Cry Macho, the Terminator franchise and other projects under consideration. We will resume discussions when Governor Schwarzenegger decides.”
Get that? Cry Macho sounds hilarious! Hopefully, it will see the light of day and be 90 minutes of nothing but Arnie crying his eyes out thinking about all the terrible things he’s done.
Remember, Arnold has a funny voice so we assume that he’s a riot when he’s bawling.
So, anyway, everything seems to be going the way of the pear for Schwarzenegger, and because we don’t know him personally, we can all have a good laugh at the general misfortune.
The way his week’s going, he might get mowed down by a bus or something, which will make all this cruel prodding seem a bit crass.
Oh well.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!