It would be nice to think that, somewhere in the world, Arnold Schwarzenegger is taking a long hard look at himself and thinking about how he’s been a bad man who should perhaps change his ways. Alas, if he is actually looking at himself in the mirror, he’s probably masturbating.
And while Arnie grunts at himself with the tissues at the ready, everyone is pointing at him and wondering what the fallout of his wandering penis might be after he admitted to siring a love child with a self-loathing housekeeper.
It appears that Arnie’s wife, Maria Shriver, isn’t mucking about and has gone straight to ace celebrity lawyer, Laura Wasser, who is especially good at making people fart coins.
Reports suggest that there’s $400million to play with and, naturally, Maria wants to make Arnie pay for his rampant seed. Now, its thought that there was a pre-nup in place, however, this will invariably get lobbed toward the shredder as three mistresses have come forward. And counting.
With that, Arnold could be looking at signing over a rather handsome $200million from the Conan The Barbarian star.
And if you believe Jane Seymour, the whole thing is about to become a lot stickier. She’s said that she’s aware of more children that the former California governor has had.
Seymour told CNN:
“I was not even remotely surprised. The moment I heard it, that there was an announcement of their separation — he was obviously jumping the gun before everyone else told the world of the news.”
“I heard about two more [out of wedlock kids] somebody else knows about.”
And a stranger angle in this sorry debacle is how Mildred Patricia Baena – that’s the maid at the centre of all this spunky storm – was apparently a self-loathing Hispanic. It has been reported that she was rather fond of trash-talking the Hispanic community. Yes. She happens to be Hispanic herself.
Sources who worked with Baena have told? TMZ:
“she was a “self-hating woman” who would tell members of the staff that “white people were better” and she did whatever she could to become friendly with Caucasians… most of Baena’s peers disliked her because she was a social climber, adding, “She felt like she was better than the rest of us”
So there you have it. More children to come out of the woodwork shouting “DADDY!” and a woman who hates herself. Marvellous. In fact, better than ‘DADDY!’ would be…
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