Posts tagged as:

Alex Reid

The Peter Andre Guide To Wooing

by Justrestingmyeyes

Hey everyone, you massive pile of galahs! Pandre Peter Pandre Andre here, and I’ve been given just enough time by the scummy hoardes at hecklerspray to give something back to you, the people. That’s what I’m all about now. Giving something back. You may have seen my new show on ITV2, that I don’t like [...]

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Big Brother 2011 Trailer Released Featuring Ex-Housemates, Murderers And H From Steps Who Was Definitely Never In Big Brother Anyway

by Sophie Hall

It’s not fair. The prospect of Channel 5’s Big Brother is now becoming dangerously real, and here is the most concrete proof of what is set to be a terrible, terrible Autumn. Any means of escape is effectively now void. If you try and turn the channel over, all you will find is a botched [...]

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Kerry Katona’s Mum Suggests New Ways To Further Her ‘Career’: Let Us Look At Her PR Form

by hecklerspray staff

Kerry Katona’s mum has told our all-time favourite Sunday tabloid ‘The Star on Sunday’ that she is going to help get her daughter’s life back on track after Kerry was dropped from her management last month. And how is good ol’ Sue Katona going to achieve this? By encouraging Kerry to text ‘saucy messages’ to [...]

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Katie Price’s Love Weighs Heavily On Us All

by Amy Grindhouse

In an ouroboros circle of narcissism that’s going to be the reason the universe implodes in on itself in 2012, Katie Price has been spotted with ankle ink that would appear to mark the date she met her latest boyfriend. Which would be fine. Except she’s been dating this latest guy for all of three [...]

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Peter Andre To Dismally Continue On The Live Music Circuit

by Matthew Laidlow

If the borders of reality and literature were to ever blur by magic and represent members of society, then Peter Andre would be the human equivalent of the Mr. Happy character from the Mr. Men books. You can’t pick up a trashy 67p magazine without seeing the ex husband of Katie Price and general lousy [...]

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Katie Price In Car That Runs Two Horses Over Until They’re Dead

by Mof Gimmers

Katie Price loves horses. This is mainly because they don’t talk back to her or give her hassle about her terrifying face, which has been manufactured by the world’s worst plastic surgeons, determined to make her look like a Hubba Bubba/gallstone hybrid. However, she has had some trouble with horses, notably the ones that the [...]

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Atomic Kitten Singer Liz McClarnon Has No Cool Friends

by Joanna Bolouri

Atomic Kitten.  Remember them? They were good weren’t they? Oh, that’s right they were amazingly gash but they did release ‘Whole Again’, a song loved by chav women the world over and so heartbreakingly rubbish we once set fire to our own ears in disgust and swore we’d never listen to pop music EVER again. [...]

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Katie Price Likes Brains And Murderers And Has Bonus Round With Alex Reid

by Mof Gimmers

Katie Price aka Jordan is bloody brilliant. Not only is she covered in boobs, has cloven hoofs and a slightly large orange head, she also has a great big gaping hole in the front of her face and sometimes words fly out of it like a perfectly veneered bat cave. Of course, like any devoted [...]

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Alex Reid Now Some Kind Of Stupid Hippy

by Ralph Sanders

Not that we’d ever say this to his face, but Alex Reid seems like a wee bit of a head case.  The primary evidence for that is obviously the marriage to Jordankatieprice and becoming a de-facto stand-in for his body double and mental equal, Peter Andre. Further than this damning evidence is pretty much every [...]

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Diary of the Fearless Truth-Seekers: The Week in Tabloids- Soccer Sexists and Superstar Sexuality

by Si Sharp

Much has already been said about the Andy Gray and Richard Keys story, with Charlie Brooker supplying one of more interesting slants on it, but we would like to point out The Sun’s sweetly optimistic approach to it on  Monday, the day after Andy’s original on-air gaffe and was tucked away on page ten in [...]

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