It's usually traditional for cowboys to spend the festive period eating roadkill with all the trimmings and sitting round the TV watching A Smokey & The Bandit Christmas while getting drunk on grandma's moonshine, but not Keith Urban.
Keith Urban is the world's most troubled cowboy, you see, and not even being married to one of the world's most beautiful women can heal the pain in Keith Urban's heart. But booze and drugs can, neither of which are especially good for a man, so Keith Urban packed up his saddlebag and ran off to rehab for three months until he felt better. The good news is that Keith Urban's treatment is finally complete and he's newly out of rehab. The bad news is that now Keith Urban has left rehab, he's decided to tour the UK, possibly to punish us giggling at his neatly GHD'd hair all the time.
If you looked at the life of Keith Urban, you'd wonder why he isn't the most stress-free man on the planet. Keith is married to Nicole Kidman, he had one of the most helicopter-free weddings in history, he's made his fortune singing bland country songs with titles that seem to have been created at random using the words "I," "Me," "Love," "You," "Wanna," and "God" and sometimes people look at him. What more could any man want? No wonder Keith Urban once wrote a song called Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me.
But behind the famous wife, the blinding choppers and the girly hair was a heart of pure darkness. Before he met Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban had already sought out rehab for a cocaine addiction – and in October trouble hit again and Keith Urban took himself off to rehab, although this time it's thought the trouble was alcohol-related, as a cryptic interview about drowning in booze that Keith gave shortly before his rehab hinted at.
Keith Urban's rehab wasn't perfect – he had to miss some special cowboy awards because of it and he may have actually escaped once – but now, as E! Online reports, Keith Urban is out of rehab and cleaner than ever:
Nicole Kidman's country-singing spouse has completed a stint at the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs, California, his publicist, Paul Freundlich, confirmed Tuesday to E! News… No further details were disclosed, and it's not known exactly when Urban left the facility. Earlier Tuesday he issued a press release touting an upcoming European tour, and People magazine spotted the Grammy winner alongside Kidman at the Creative Artists Agency's private Golden Globes after-party Monday night.
What's more, the newly-straight Keith Urban has announced that his Love, Pain & The Whole Crazy Thing World Tour will be hitting the UK. According to reports, Keith Urban will play a number of intimate club dates here in April. 'Intimate club dates' of course being code for 'nobody in this country knows Keith Urban, likes Keith Urban or cares either way about Keith Urban's ridiculous hillbilly music'. Perhaps if Keith Urban ever wanted to return to Britain to play larger venues he should think about renaming his tour to the Look At Me, I'm The Country Singer With The Really Famous Wife. No Not Kenny Chesney, The Other One – The One With Funny Hair Tour.
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Gary John says
Maybe if we line bottles of booze along all the runways in the country, Keith’s rehab spidey-sense will tell him to stay away
Brittany Faith Edgeworth says
YAYAYAYAY!!!! I AM SO HAPPY! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT KEITH URBAN!! I LOVE YOU! AND BY ANY CHANCE,
COULD YOU COME TO CORINTH MISSISSIPPI OR TUPELO MISSISSIPPI….BUT IF YOU CAN”T I UNDERSTAND…I”LL JUST
PRAY A LIL MORE HARDER…I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!! KEITHY BABY!
Melanie Bath says
Geez something tells me you don’t like Country Music. Have you actually stopped to listen to any of Keith’s songs properly? The man is a legend, and perhaps if you took time out to go to one of his “intimate club dates” this year you might just change your opinion. And just to clarify – Keith does not sing Hillbilly Music! What an insult!
Sue says
Stuart, you have obviously never listened to a Keith Urban CD never mind attended one of his concerts.
This man is one of the best entertainers there is. His music is amazing.
Go off and listen to some of his music, get the live DVD of a concert and then come back to us with your real opinions.
See you all at Shepherds Bush on the 24th girls!!
Sara says
Wow, someone is messed up in the head. Keith has LOTS of fans in the places he’ll be visiting. People know who he is. Of course he won’t go to a huge arena because the country music genre isn’t that large overseas. He’s doing smaller venues for that reason. Keith does not sing “hillbilly music”. Perhaps before you judge someone, you should take a chance to sit down and listen to their music. Keith’s songs come from the heart and he’s a fantastic guitar player. It doesn’t matter who you’re married to, nobody’s perfect you know. But I just want you to know that Karma will come back and bite you in the ass. Enjoy that one!
gloria says
Geez Stuart, can you be anymore nastier?? Keith is an outstanding entertainer and definitely not hillbilly. He brought a lot of people over to country music that never really cared for it and I think you need to check out one of his concerts! I commend him for going into rehab before it got out of hand. Heck, we are all human…..some just have more money and talent than the others. Rock on Keith!!! Stuart be nice!
ManateeMan says
Has anybody ever seen Keith Urban and Robbie Savage in the same room at the same time?
Me neither.
Gan FigR.
ManateeMan says
I’m serious about this, I’m doing research and everything:
http://www.evertonfc.com/assets/_files/images/imported/1089714493.jpg
Jules says
Boy, did you get out of bed the wrong side Stuart !!!!!!!! Did your mother never teach you that if you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all ?? By the way, I would recommend that you get your ears and your eyes tested as soon as possible
Mel says
ManateeMan – you are joking right?!!! Sorry, don’t see the resemblence at all, Keith is much better looking :p
shelley says
Boy who crapped in your cheerios? Keith is great!! People have problems. And by the way when was the last time you had a drink??
His hair is sooooo sexy!! And Nic loves him so he has to be great!!!
Brittany :] says
hey. i’ll updatee a commentt. :]
yes, after so long.. he is STILL SOBER! And I’m talking about today! :] he kicks off his SUMMER tour and I hope to goodness he comes to MISSISSIPPI.. still a LOT of fans are waiting as well.
GOD BLESSSSSSS,
BRITTANYYY.