Well here's a surprise. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, who have been a couple for ages, and who announced their marriage to everyone a while ago, and flew to Australia to get married – have got married! We know, shocker, huh?
And the Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban marriage was just the same as any other low-key wedding, except this one contained the stunningly insincere line "You are all beautiful" and heavily featured a rubbish cowboy singer singing songs from his new album right into the face of her out of Practical Magic.
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have had an up and down old time of things. After an apparently brief fling, rumours were spreading that Nicole and Keith had split up. But then, after months of frenzied speculation or total indifference – and proclamations of love for Tom Cruise – Nicole Kidman finally announced that she was engaged to Urban. After that, everything was a blur of helicopter booking, taking a plane back to Australia and finding a gobby enough priest to conduct the ceremony.
And then the Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban wedding took place in Sydney of Friday. According to various reports, Nicole Kidman was in tears all the way to the church and throughout the wedding ceremony. Around a thousand fans crowded around Kidman's car as it approached the church, where one person reportedly shouted "You're beautiful," at her – to which Kidman replied "You are all beautiful." Presumably then the bridal car had to speed into the church to avoid the tsunami of vomit that the remark caused.
During the ceremony, Hugh Jackman – Nicole's co-star in an upcoming Australian epic – sang a song from some kind of musical, Neil Finn sang a Crowded House song and then Keith Urban took to the mic to sing a song from his awful bland new album. The song, entitled Making Memories Of Us, contains the classically bad lyric "I'm gonna steal your attention like a bad outlaw."
So that's why Nicole Kidman was crying…
[story by Stuart Heritage]