Now that they're married, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are a unit – a powerful, singular one that's mostly comprised of ginger hair, bleached skin and rubbish cowboy songs about farmers and trucks and stuff.
And when Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban come together, they create such a luminous display of celebrity love that people can't help but stop whatever they're doing in order to point and pull weird faces like Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. Yeah, basically, this is a story of some people looking at Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.
Before they got together, Nicole Kidman was merely a Hollywood actress who kept making comedies even though she was very obviously crap at them, and Keith Urban was a singer that nobody outside of a small circle of red-eyed female truck drivers had ever heard of. But, following their marriage, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have become the sort of unstoppable fame-machine that will hypnotise anyone who staggers into their path.
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are so famous that if anyone – anywhere – rents a helicopter, chances are they'll use it exclusively to stalk them. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are so famous that not even priests are safe from the urge to blab endlessly about them. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are so famous that, when they went to Nashville to watch some fireworks, they caused the sort of frantic gawping that would have Jesus taking notes.
To celebrate Independence Day this week, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban did what all Australian expats do – they buggered off down a pool hall for a bit to watch fireworks. The only problem is, the crowd that amassed to watch the display noticed Nicole and Keith, and got a little bit excitable. David Yunker, a copy editor for The Tennessean newspaper, witnessed this giant display of celebrity-looking:
“Girls and guys alike could be seen text messaging friends and leaving giddy voice mails upon noticing the famous couple.”
We can't imagine the kind of giddy frenzy that was caused by some people seeing Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban for a few minutes. The nearest thing we can compare it to was when Dick out of Dick and Dom turned on the Christmas lights round our way about four years before he was famous. And, boy oh boy, was that ever giddy.
[story by Stuart Heritage]