It's a scene you've all witnessed at any number of small-town nightclubs – divorced females making too much of an effort to show that they're still sexually attractive and ending up looking a billion times more desperate than anyone could think possible.
Following her recent split from Kevin Federline, that's a situation that Britney Spears could have well found herself in, were it not for the steadying help and support of a small circle of close-knit sensible friends, who are urging Britney Spears to be the one who comes out of the divorce with a modicum of dignity. Wait, what? Britney Spears is hanging out with who? Oh Jesus…
Chances are that you'll have all seen pictures of Britney and new best friend Paris Hilton tottering around half-falling out of their ridiculous little dresses by now. We didn't even know that Britney Spears and Paris Hilton were friends. Perhaps they bonded over their one common interest – their love of having sex on video a lot.
Britney Spears is in for a rough few months. Ever since she split up with Kevin Federline, Britney Spears has had to face the reality of Kevin Federline getting custody of their children. Needless to say, Kevin Federline will have his work cut out for him if he's to convince a judge that Sean Preston and Jayden James are better off with a shoe-giving, constantly-partying moron like him, and all Britney Spears needs to do is mount a small publicity campaign showing her to be the loving stay-at-home mother that she probably is…
Or, you know, she could just get photographed falling out of every single club in America with Paris Hilton. One or the other, and Britney Spears certainly seems to have chosen the latter option. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are new best friends, you see, and Britney Spears doesn't care who knows, as the New York Daily News reports:
Hilton has been Spears' partner in crime since the mom of two started on her postmarriage trampage around Las Vegas and Los Angeles after only two weeks of being single. Last week, police were called to Hilton's home after the celebutante's neighbors complained that she and Spears were blasting music too loudly and the paparazzi were getting out of control. Only days before, the newly liberated Spears had a wild "girls night out" with Hilton at Tryst in Las Vegas' Wynn Hotel. The pair got down and dirty on the dance floor to none other than Paris' songs. Britney felt so uninhibited hanging with her new pal that she took off her pants and danced around the club in her fishnet stockings.
While it seems clear that Britney Spears showing Kevin Federline that she's available again by dancing with Paris Hilton instead of scrawling "fuck a wife" of a shower door – after all, if Kevin Federline can act like a randy tit in a nightclub then so can Britney – but Britney Spears has to make sure that she doesn't end up actually turning into Paris Hilton. And, really, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton aren't so different already.
For a start, Paris Hilton has her own sex tape and Britney Spears might have her own sex tape. Also, Paris Hilton often drives like a wanker and Britney Spears often drives like a wanker too. If Britney Spears isn't careful, then the influence of Paris Hilton could turn Britney Spears into someone who pisses into taxis and punches girls in nightclubs and who can't sell any records.