Paris Hilton has previously gone on record as saying that her musical talent is so powerful and enormous that she bursts into tears as soon as she even thinks about it. Sadly the same can't be said for anyone else.
For, despite being on a seemingly constant loop on all the music TV channels, the hype for the Paris Hilton single Stars Are Blind hasn't translated into album sales. This means that it's looking increasingly likely that Paris Hilton's musical career will flop badly, to the surprise of many. In other news today, the sky is blue and bears shit in the woods every now and again.
It's easy to laugh at Paris Hilton, isn't it? The way that she only ever mumbles about how hot various things are, the way that she piddles all over the interior of taxis, the way she claims to dislike sex quite a lot, Paris Hilton only seems to exist as reason for poor people to be thankful that they aren't rich.
And when Paris Hilton decided to have a stab at being a popstar, the howls of derision only got louder. We laughed when Paris Hilton started hanging out with rappers, we laughed when we heard that the first Paris Hilton single was going to be reggae and we laughed when Paris Hilton said that she was so good that she cries to think about it. But, somewhere along the line, Paris Hilton started to win us round – maybe it was the sheer bloody-mindedness of continuing to do something she wants to do even though everyone else figured that she'll be lousy at it. And, just for a second, it looked as if she'd actually pull it off.
And then the Paris Hilton album came out. And then nobody bought it. andPOP reports:
Hilton, 25, released her debut album “Paris” last week and so far sold only 75,000 copies. It is reported that next week it will only sell around 30,000 copies.
So that looks as if the kibosh has been put on Paris Hilton ever becoming a popstar. Not that her slave Elliott Mintz – a man who'd try and put a positive spin of genocide – agrees:
"For a newcomer, this is incredibly impressive."
We expect that Paris Hilton is probably wishing she had a fall-back career now that her pop dreams have been shattered. Like, um, her TV career, her publishing deals, her perfumes, the nightclubs she owns or the purses she designs, or – you know – something.
[story by Stuart Heritage]