When Britney Spears finally decided that, hey, maybe every single human on the planet who thought that Kevin Federline was a bit of a dinkle was right and left him, people were generally surprised at the spontaneity of her actions.
However, not everybody was surprised when Britney Spears kicked Kevin Federline to the kerb – rumours are now circulating that Britney Spears had been secretly telephoning Justin Timberlake up and generally sobbing quite a lot about how much of a crap husband Kevin Federline is. Meanwhile Kevin Federline, without his own Justin Timberlake figure to cry and bitch and wail to, has been expressing himself in the only way he knows how – through barely-coherent graffiti scrawled on a door.
Ever since they split up, the paths of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake have veered off into wildly different paths. While Justin Timberlake is happy to almost get run over with Cameron Diaz and draw some lovely pictures of clothes, Britney Spears temporarily retired from the music scene to shack up with Kevin Federline, push a small army of redneck babies out of her mimsy in order to hopelessly damage them somehow and occasionally freak out the Japanese. But, as far apart as they've been, Britney Spears has never been so far away from Justin Timberlake that she can't phone him up and relentlessly weep.
Ever since Britney Spears dumped Kevin Federline earlier this month, Britney has been doing her best to give off an air of cool confidence – even while Kevin Federline has been making hopelessly deluded custody claims – but Grazia magazine says that this hasn't always been the case, quoting a source who says that Britney Spears would often call up Justin Timberlake in tears about the state of her – admittedly rubbish to everyone – marriage:
"Justin said Britney has called him crying a number of times about her relationship with Kevin. She has gone through an excruciating time. It's very sad. She doesn't want anybody to feel sorry for her or see her as a victim. She has been trying for months to make it work for the sake of her children."
Meanwhile Kevin Federline has been expressing himself through the typically masculine medium of writing graffiti on a door and then running away. In between trying to sell the Britney Spears sex tape for millions of dollars and acting like a bit of a randy tit, magazine US Weekly has uncovered Kevin Federline's poetic soul by reading the graffiti he left on shower door in Chicago after Britney dumped him. The untitled sonnet reads:
Today I’m a free man
Ladies look out
Fuck a wife
Give me my kids