If this article were a Facebook page, which it’s not and never will be, it would be called “That Awkward Moment When You Realise That Jeff Brazier Probably Describes Everything He Does With An Obscure Simile”.
Naturally that would be without the minute attention to spelling and grammar that we have. We really did get that awkward, aching feeling in the pit of our collective stomach (we all share one to save money) when we read in an interview with New! Magazine that Dancing On Ice star and celebrity father Jeff Brazier “kisses like a Jedi”.
What does a statement like that even mean? Presumably Jeff was implying the finesse and poise that a Jedi Knight might employ when kissing a lady; if they were allowed. Which they’re not. Primarily because it’s against their ‘code’ and secondarily because they’re entirely fictional and no amount of wearing a hooded dressing gown and hilariously filling it in as a religion on your Census form is going to change that.