Talk about kicking a dead horse! We think Max Clifford and Danny Hayward should get an award for zero shame after cashing in on the biggest reality circus in UK history.
Jade Goody musicals, films, books, lunchboxes, video games, lipgloss, headscarves and cosmetic smear tests -? all of these hideous consumer items could be on their way to consumer orifices near you!
Business partners and friends never make good bedfellows, especially friends willing to market your rotting corpse and tragic life with disposable media. A Jade Goody musical, planned by ‘best man’ Danny Hayward is apparently in the works. Good tidings and hallelujah. Just what our pathetic populace needs: A circus with a sequel.
According to Danny Hayward:
“We’ve got [a musical] coming out in about four months’ time and it’s going to be the story of her life and we’re going to be on the search for who is going to play Jade.”
So let’s get this straight Danny, you plan to celebrate a circus with a freak show and furnish the freak-show by throwing Essex girls at Simon Cowell and friends?
Danny and choreographer Victoria Hayward (either a relative or victim of circumstance) plan to select an actress using a ‘panel of creative experts’, which for the sake of more cash, will probably be televised (and hopefully after the watershed). As for who can play the role of the late Ms. Goody: We think that Lily Allen might be up to the job.
The televised rise and fall of Jade Goody began in 2002 when she appeared on reality TV show Big Brother. She returned for the celebrity edition of the show in 2007 and became embroiled in a racism row over her treatment of Bollywood actor Shilpa Shetty. The tabloid favourite contracted cervical cancer in 2008 and passed away this year on March 22nd. Sounds like history.
In the 21st century, history is written by talentless profiteers and a special breed of parasite known as the publicist, ‘PR guy’ or panel judge. Publicists like Max Clifford are called ‘manipulators’ in real life. They react to negative press with statements and strategies to shield people they would gladly sell into slavery, there is a massive fee of course. Mr Clifford is busy as bacteria these days, and while he looks for other tragic cases, he’s negotiating a Jade movie and reading manuals on human creativity.
Above all, millions will be spent celebrating a life that contributed absolutely nothing to the human race. History will remember this as a time when taste, tact and integrity were thrown away for money: Jade Goody and her business interests were a demented capitalist experiment, one that should never be repeated.
[story by Alex de Moller]
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Stabby McGee says
I think the saddest thing about this whole story is that enough people DO want this musical to happen. I mean, we live in a society where an emaciated slag who looks about 15 years older than she really is, gets voted the World’s Sexiest Woman.
We’re fucked, basically.
jules says
Stabby mcgee and others why do you have to be so abusive, What is a slag do you mean a women who sleeps around. If this is the case do you know her. Please grow up and stop being so derogatory towards women
Tania says
The song and dance number where she is revealed to be a racist bully should be a scream.
dutchtom1 says
Highlights include, naming East anglia as the capital of France and calling a sootie a poppadom. Sounds like they need Ben Elton on board to puke up another script. And Elton John for the music. It’s a winner. It will be another Mamma Mia.
Chris says
Yawn. Goody bored the shite out of me first time round, and that wasn’t even in musical form. Society is dead.
Tania says
I will only pay to see it if Jade plays herself.