Tom Cruise has done all he can to prove to the world how much he loves Katie Holmes lately, like impregnating her with his seed and having a fairytale Italian wedding, and now it's time for Tom Cruise's final dastardly step – cocktails!
Not cocktails as in the Tom Cruise movie Cocktail – Tom Cruise won't prove his love by shouting for an hour and then sleeping with Mallory from Young Guns – but in a post-wedding cocktail party at the LA home of his production partner Paula Wagner this weekend, so that all of Tom Cruise's friends who couldn't make it to the wedding can personally inspect Katie Holmes for any signs of drugging, hypnosis or blunt force trauma head injuries that may give some indication as to why she married Tom Cruise in the first place.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes really are a match made in heaven. Or, you know, Scientology heaven. Whatever that is. A hydrogen bomb-filled volcano shared with all the other high OT Scientologists, possibly. Anyway, our point is that – until their inevitable tight-lipped divorce – Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are good for each other. Katie Holmes gives Tom Cruise a lot, like a fertile womb, a juicy placenta and a willingness to push a human being out of her body in total silence; and in return Tom Cruise cuts all the interesting bits out of her films. Perfect.
And Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes want as many people to see how happy they are together. As if booking a giant Italian castle and filling it with more celebrities than you can shake a stick at and then having an embarrassingly long wedding kiss wasn't enough, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are now preparing for a post-wedding party in LA, as MSNBC reports:
Newlyweds Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will celebrate their nuptials with a post-wedding party in Los Angeles this weekend. A reception/cocktail party will be held Saturday at the home of Hollywood power couple Paula Wagner, who is Cruise’s producing partner, and Rick Nicita, the actor’s agent, Arnold Robinson, a spokesman for Cruise, told The Associated Press on Wednesday. Cruise, 44, and Holmes, 27, were married Nov. 18 in Bracciano, Italy. Afterward, they flew to the Maldives for a two-week honeymoon.
Apparently Arnold Robinson says this special reception/cocktail party is for:
"friends (who) were not able to attend the wedding in Italy.”
You mean some of Tom Cruise's friends couldn't make the wedding? Maybe there were a few spare seats that needed filling – that certainly explains why Jenny McCarthy was there. The big question, though, is who will be invited to this little party that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are throwing? Tom's fellow high-profile Scientologist oddball John Travolta wasn't at his wedding – possibly because it interfered with his vampiric sleeping arrangements – so maybe he'll turn up for the bash, while Viacom chief Sumner 'All women hate you, you know' Redstone might show his wizened old face at some point.
Rumour has it that there's a chance famous wedding snubee Oprah Winfrey will pop in and say hello, too. And we expect to find out when details of the Tom Cruise/ Katie Holmes 'OK Oprah We're Sorry For Not Inviting You, You're Much More Powerful Than Us, Please Still Say Nice Things About Films We're In' post-wedding party emerge next week.
Read more: