More high speed celebrity news birds smashing into the patio door of your brains…
…Robbie Williams plans to emulate the success of Ray Charles and release a duets album. Hopefully this will also extend to Robbie going blind and dying…
…John Travolta sleeps during the day because he says "In the daytime I get recognised". At night-time however, people just think he’s another ordinary smug overweight arsefaced pilot…
…Bono has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. This means the only thing the Irish rocker has not been nominated for this year is the Loudmouth Hair-Transplant Indoor-Sunglass-Wearing Midget award. Ironic, really…
…Celebrity Fame Academy contestants this year have been announced as Reggie Yates, Gina Yashere, Christopher Coulquhoun and Nick Knowles. The producers will hopefully announce some actual celebrities soon. Jesus, producers…
…After being leaked on the Internet, 50 Cent’s new album is to be released five days earlier than previously announced. Fiddy’s record company hope this will prevent the dastardly web pirates from telling everyone else how rubbish it is until its too late…
…Paul McCartney has hit out at a claim that vegetarianism stunts children’s mental and physical growth. "I really do think this is rubbish!" he raged, moments before he became dizzy, forgot where he was and had to be helped back to his chair…
…Sean Connery is being sued by his neighbours, partly because he is a "rude, foul-mouthed, fat old man"… hecklerspray ran this quote through an internet search and found that Connery’s peers are apparently Elton John, King Henry VIII, Buddha and Santa Claus…
…Also being sued this week is Britney Spears by somebody who claims that her film ‘Crossroads’ is shockingly similar to his script entitled ‘Dream Alive’. Quite why anyone would willingly compare anything of theirs to that dogshit of a movie is beyond us. Counter-sue Shitney, we implore ye…
…GOOD NEWS IN THE ‘SPRAY OFFICE: Blink 182 have split up…
…GRISLY AND VICIOUS NEWS THAT, AMONG OTHER THINGS, KEEPS HECKLERSPRAY AWAKE AT NIGHT: Westlife have promised not to…