Everyone's been so busy watching Britney Spears slowly unspool over the last few weeks that one question seems to have been lost in all the hubbub: just who the hell is ever going to want to buy a piece of music by Britney Spears ever again?
Even if Britney Spears lets her hair grow back, calms down a bit and stops telling people that she thinks she's the devil, she's got a long way to go to restore her reputation in the eyes of her once-adoring fans. But super producer Timbaland seems to think he's the man to save Britney Spears – and he could be right. After all, we've lost count of the number of bald young women with suicidal tendencies that have been rescued by being made to sing Nelly Furtado cast-offs.
There isn't a musician alive today who doesn't want to work with Timbaland. Timbaland produced Sexyback for Justin Timberlake and Maneater for Nelly Furtado and worked with Brandy before she indirectly killed that woman in a car crash. Even Elton John wants to work with Timbaland and that has to be a sign of something, although we're not quite sure what.
OK, maybe we were fibbing. There is one musician alive who doesn't appear to want to work with Timbaland, and that's Britney Spears. But that's only because Britney Spears has a lot of other stuff going on at the moment, like getting her vagina out at any opportunity, running up to cars and smashing them into pieces with umbrellas, going to salons to shave her head and hurling herself around rehab with '666' on her head while claiming to be the Antichrist just before trying to commit suicide. Recording a follow-up hit to I'm Not A Girl Not Yet A Woman probably isn't at the forefront of Britney Spears' mind at the moment, all said – not as much as finding someone to throw up over, anyway. But Timbaland wants to help Britney Spears anyway, as Hollywood reports:
The rapper and producer–real name Timothy Mosley–tells Entertainment Weekly magazine, "I feel her pain, it really bothers me. I'm the type of person who tries to save the world. I just want to take her away, go overseas, and work (it) out". Timbaland adds, "I just want to hold her hand. I want her to be in my camp, to be around Justin [Timberlake]. I need Justin to talk to her. Help her, please!"
Timbaland must mean business if he wants to recruit Justin Timberlake to the Britney Spears-saving cause. Obviously Justin will only help Britney if he can drag himself away from Cameron Diaz or Scarlett Johansson or his own mother or whoever he's seeing at the moment, but he's no stranger to listening to Britney Spears sob at him endlessly, so it should be a cinch this time.
Lucky old Britney Spears, then – she's now received help from Kevin Federline and Timbaland and Justin Timberlake and Daniel Baldwin. So, OK, we relent – with a list of stars like that, we probably would buy the Britney Spears comeback CD. But only if Baldwin got to guest-rap on at least four of the songs. And the album was called Weeearrugh, I'm The Flipping Antichrist!
Read more:
Timbaland and Justin Timberlake Want To Save Britney Spears – Hollywood
Bey Puricos says
Anyone else think this is just so that Timbaland can appear in more of other people’s videos?
M. Cly says
God Bless Timbaland and Timberlake!!! If the news mongrels and news idiots would stop eating off the ill-wills of others they would be better off. It
is sad that they have to get rich off the sadness of others. The news media are nothing but RATS and sick minded people. If people would stop buying the
rag magazines, then they would not make this money. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!! I am a 63 year old grandmother in Dallas and I am sick of her being picked on.
Dan says
I agree, the media absolutely discusts me, they are putrid vermin. I have Never in my life bought a tabloid paper, and I Never will. I will side with the so called ‘stars’ when it come to this kind of stuff because when it comes down to it they are actually pretty descent people, but they are still human beings who arent perfect. I think Avril Lavigne had the right idea, spit on the paparazzi!
Putrid vermin skumbag worthless excusses for human beings.
Im not a fan of Britney Spears music by any means, but no one deserves this crap, NO ONE.
Angela says
I think its sad that they have done this …. Shes had all these people picking and picking at her about everything … I think if she accepts timbaland and timberlake
can get thru to her she may have a shot … I think she can make a full 100% recovery from this .. I love her and her music .. I have always supported her with
buying her cds … Good Luck Guys … She needs the help ..
Slammer says
http://www.savingbritney.com
yolanda (castellon) says
Britney you the best no sorry the best best best best best etc… kevin is stupid
monica madrigal says
hello I love you music
yolanda (castellon) says
kevin is very stupid
Jasmine says
WTF?
Poor Britney! Never has to work again and has all that money, how will she ever get to number 1 again??
WHO CARES!
The amount of poor, long suffering women in the world who have been beaten up by their husbands, and can still be strong for their kids, divorce their husbands and get over it, and they haven’t got any money at all compared to britney spears!
Yes leave her alone. Leave her alone to sort herself out and fix up! It is embarrassing to see a mother, let alone another woman act like that. Lets face it, what is needed here is not a number one hit, or more fame, an interview, or whatever. She needs to stop caring about her career at the moment, she has more pressing issues, like her mental health, her children and her relationships. I don’t think any well produced hit song will give her more respect from the public, than just sorting herself out, and acting like a nice human being would. And more importantly, it would give her respect for herself!