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Tour

Jay And Silent Bob To Tour The UK With Live Show, Right?

by Mof Gimmers

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes made millions of stoners chuckle nacho crumbs into their bellybuttons are their alter-egos Jay and Silent Bob. Littered with pop-culture and sci-fi references, they were always going to achieve cult-herodom. And now, you’ll get to slap your glazed eyeballs on them in the flesh as they’ve announced a tour of [...]

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Disgusting Floral Gifts For Ungrateful Madonna

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna is so far removed from society, that even small gifts from us plebs make her angry. Gestures are just not enough, as we’re supposed to know exactly what she likes or else we’ll incur her stupid, pointless wrath. We saw this yesterday on these pages as she turned her aged nose up at a [...]

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Madonna Hates You And Your Stupid, Stupid Gifts

by Mof Gimmers

When us mere mortals make some kind of gesture to an incredibly wealthy celebrity, we expect our meagre offerings to be useless to them, but at least met with some vague gratefulness, right? What on Earth could you offer someone who has probably already bought everything in the world? Including actual humans from Africa. And [...]

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Madonna Has A New Film Out Which Will Be Rubbish (Here’s Why)

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna. She made a lot of great pop records. A LOT. She’s a successful business woman (when she’s not setting up failed gyms in Mexico) and owns a record label that launched another bunch of stars. However, one thing she never got right was the movies. Not that this has stopped her from releasing a [...]

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Imma Let You Finish Beyonce, Once You Agree To Kanye Being Godfather To Your Unborn Baby

by Mof Gimmers

Beyonce is pregnant. That’s great isn’t it? Unless you’d hoped that B and Jay Z were going to adopt you in some way. She’s 3 months gone! Wow. Wait. That means she was having sex when when Osama bin Laden got killed or Ratko Mladi? got arrested for genocide and war crimes. It seems justice, [...]

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Jay Z Makes You Feel Like A Skinflint With $50k Tip

by Mof Gimmers

Do you leave tips in restaurants? If there’s a few of you, you all chuck a quid in each because that seems about right? Well, you’re nothing but a sickening tightwad because, when Jay Z leaves a tip, he really leaves a tip. We’re not talking about a tip like “condoms make excellent fingerprint disguisers [...]

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Decoded: Jay Z And Kanye West’s Watch The Throne ‘Otis’ Promo

by Mof Gimmers

Kanye West and Jay Z have got together to make supreme ego project, Watch The Throne. The first single taken from it is called ‘Otis’. Is that something to do with the people who make shopping centre escalators? Of course it isn’t. That’s a stupid notion. But well done if you’ve ever noticed that mall [...]

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Kanye West Falls Flat On His Ass Due To Weight Being The Only Victim In The World [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

We feel sorry for Kanye West. He’s the only celebrity on Earth who gets any criticism of any sort. The rest of them are treated like Gods among men, while he is vilified and pilloried every time he opens his mouth. Essentially, everyone is picking on him and he doesn’t like it. And he’s not [...]

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Beyonce Features On Jay Z And Kanye West’s Bloated ‘Watch The Throne’ Track [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

On the back of Kanye West referring to himself as ‘Hitler’ over the weekend at a festival appearance, he’s stopped wanting to invade Poland for long enough to make a buncha tracks with Jay Z in a project called ‘Watch The Throne’. Of course, Jay Z is an outrageous talent when on form, but alongside [...]

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Noel Gallagher Announces Manchester Hating Tour Dates

by Mof Gimmers

Manchester. What a stupid, damp city. Swarms of middle-aged idiots in Adidas Samba waddle around with their bowed Ian Brown legs poking out from their khaki jackets and dreadful moddish haircuts, all recalling a time when it was alright to ‘ave it. Alas, those Madchester days are long behind them, leaving them nostalgic and pink [...]

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