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Hi There Leaked Madonna Nudes… Or Is It Iggy Pop? We Can’t Tell Anymore

by Mof Gimmers

Tis the season for leaked nude photographs and, sadly, this time around, it’s a hard-bodied Madonna who we’re getting to gawp at, who, at the time of press, is roughly the same age as the horizon. That’s right! She’s been having a photoshoot and some wag has leaked some snaps of her before anyone can [...]

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Madonna To Perform Super Bowl XLVI Half Time To Distract Everyone From Disgusting Hot Dogs In The Bleachers

by Mof Gimmers

She might hate hydrangeas, but she sure loves people throwing stupidly shaped balls around! That’s right folks! Madonna is totally going to be the halftime distraction at the next Super Bowl, or Super Bowl XLVI if you can’t count in English. The Material Girl (we’re forced to use that description by law) will clutter up [...]

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Noel Gallagher Continues To Be Badly Drawn Boy Tribute Act With Snippet Of New Song, ‘I’d Pick You Every Time’

by Mof Gimmers

Since Oasis split-up, we’ve literally been beside ourselves with apathy. The Gallaghers went from being feuding in the same band to… well… feuding in bands that sound like Oasis. It’s almost like nothing’s happened at all. Still, with that, we’ve got twice the opportunity to peer at their collective work, with Liam’s Beady Eye churning [...]

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Live Streaming Of Nirvana Gig To Celebrate Nevermind Yadda Yadda

by Mof Gimmers

So, this week marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Nirvana’s Nevermind LP. As such, it’s pretty much being regarded as grunge’s 20th birthday too, although, most of you will regard the start of the scene to be a much earlier date. We even wrote about it, not that you cared. See? We can [...]

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Strewth! Crikey! Rebecca Black Gears Up For An Australian Tour

by Matthew Laidlow

Not a lot has ever really happened in Australia. Since that awkward event with Dorothy and the wizard who controls all of the inhabitants in Oz, there hasn’t been much to sing and dance about. Unless you count cracking open a warm tins of Fosters and being distrustful of the indigenous aboriginal folk, Australians have [...]

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HecklerPlay: Listen To Zola Jesus’ New Album & Read These Words

by Matthew Laidlow

If you’re a football fan, please don’t worry. This isn’t a similar situation that England fans found themselves in when they discovered John Barnes was performing a rap with defunct band New Order. Chelsea fans might have sensed an awkward situation with their former Italian striker Gianfranco shunning sport completely and getting creative in the [...]

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Stupid Madonna Makes Funny Hydrangeas Video To Make Us Look Like Hysterical Idiots

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna. Stupid, canny, very bright Madonna. You can throw what you like at her, but like a wily old street fighter, she ducks and weaves before whupping your ass with a bike chain while your back is turned. The swine. See, after the hydrangea debacle, we all flung handfuls of faeces at her and hooted [...]

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Jay And Silent Bob To Tour The UK With Live Show, Right?

by Mof Gimmers

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes made millions of stoners chuckle nacho crumbs into their bellybuttons are their alter-egos Jay and Silent Bob. Littered with pop-culture and sci-fi references, they were always going to achieve cult-herodom. And now, you’ll get to slap your glazed eyeballs on them in the flesh as they’ve announced a tour of [...]

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Disgusting Floral Gifts For Ungrateful Madonna

by Mof Gimmers

Madonna is so far removed from society, that even small gifts from us plebs make her angry. Gestures are just not enough, as we’re supposed to know exactly what she likes or else we’ll incur her stupid, pointless wrath. We saw this yesterday on these pages as she turned her aged nose up at a [...]

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Madonna Hates You And Your Stupid, Stupid Gifts

by Mof Gimmers

When us mere mortals make some kind of gesture to an incredibly wealthy celebrity, we expect our meagre offerings to be useless to them, but at least met with some vague gratefulness, right? What on Earth could you offer someone who has probably already bought everything in the world? Including actual humans from Africa. And [...]

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