S Club 7 were good weren’t they? ?They all danced around in a line, singing about reaching for stars, wearing white and making everyone with ears wish they’d be born deaf. ?Still, idiots everywhere bought their music until 2003 when they broke up under a cloud of sheer indifference.
Since then, the only member you’re likely to remember is Jo..erm.. thingy who went on Big Brother and participated in some racist bullying alongside Jade Goody or maybe you remember Rachel Stevens because she was the good looking one and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day.
So, when they saw the recent comeback success of similar white wearing band Steps, they all got together and decided they’d quite like to cash in on this, regardless of whether you like it or not.
A source said:
“S Club have seen what’s happened to Steps and want a piece of it.”
And as if that wasn’t bad enough;
‘They’re hoping to make a TV show following their reunion, a tour and the release of an updated Greatest Hits album – just like Steps.”
No. Oh JESUS CHRIST NO!!
The band’s spokesman refused to comment on this, making us hope it’s just a cruel, cruel rumour that someone with a grudge against the human race has decided to unleash but given that three of the band members are touring around clubs and universities as S Club 3, which is enough to make any former popstar wish for better days,?we fear it may be true.
Despite the fact that Don’t Stop Movin’ was a decent pop tune, we’d rather superglue our eyelids open and sit through 17 hours of TOWIE than have any part of this.
Here, watch this and remember them as they were and not the elderly, arthritic, alcohol?soaked monsters they are now.
Danni Chappell says
Your whole article here, is pointless and bland.
You have one point; you disliked S Club 7 and managed to flesh it out for 3 paragraphs. May I tell you that you have served your craft well….. Oh, No…Wait. Weak.
Joanna says
Oh come now, there’s at least 4 paragraphs there…
JoeMomma says
Don’t you two have a state welfare cheque or something to pick up?
Bobby says
S Club has given me some of the best memories of my life. It all started to get sad once Jo started getting fat.
Randypan says
Fuck you Hecklerspray, fucking fuck you. I was, quite happy with my life until about 5 minutes ago. Everything was going well, I was still enjoying the news of the Black Eyed Peas demise, informing every person I’ve come into contact with for the past week. And along you fucking come and present me with this, it’s like a dog shit group trade off. Why wont they all just fuck off? And to make things even better, this post also informed me that Steps had apparently made a come back at some point, something I was somehow quite blissfully unaware of. You guys need to start thinking about how these posts affect other people. You have literally ruined my day, and it’s only 1 o’clock. I can’t be held responsible for what comes next. It’s all on you.