The big news amongst balding 40 year-olds is that the Stone Roses are going to reform. There’s a press conference imminent and everyone has got their hopes up again… just like they get their hopes up everytime someone mutters the word ‘reunion’.
Of course, around Manchester and its satellite towns, you have to silently mouth the words ‘Stone Roses Reunion’ in the same way dog-owners have to avoid saying ‘walkies’ to a dog. The excitement in both camps is equally giddy and urinatory.
And handily for the Stone Roses, save a bit of IRA sponsored building regeneration, Manchester hasn’t changed much since they split. For ON THE EIGHT DAY, GOD CREATED MANCHESTER NOSTALGIA!
And so, at 3pm, The Stone Roses are going to make a “very important announcement” at their London press conference. The most muttered rumour is that the most famous line-up of Ian Brown, John Squire, Mani and Reniwill reform for two gigs next year. Probably in Manchester.
Of course, this all comes on the back of ‘it ain’t ever gonna happen’ chat from most of the band members (not including those that made up the Roses circa ’96 when there was only Mani and Brown left clinging onto a sinking ship filled with Simply Red session guitarists and bottles hurled at their feet to a symphony of booing), but you get the notion that some of them could do with a hand with the mortgage these days.
John Squire hasn’t exactly been setting the art world alight now has he?
When Brown et al decided to call it a day, they signed off with:
“Having spent the last 10 years in the filthiest business in the universe, it’s a pleasure to announce the end of the Stone Roses.”
So are the Stone Roses going to make a comeback in the filthiest business in the universe? There’s only one thing they could do, other than the inevitable comeback tour, which would be of note.
All four band members should murder each other in cold blood before the assembled press to finally put an end to any reunion talk.
It’s the only way Manchester will move on from being shackled to indie nights that see pot-bellied DJs sticking the full length version of Fools Gold on while they nip off for a smoke/fag break while shell-toed divorcees relive the years they invariably ignored first time ’round.
*UPDATED*
There you have it. Stone Roses have reformed. There’ll be new material according to Ian Brown and they’re all chums again. Now all we need is the press to write headlines saying “What The World Is Waiting For”, “They Are The Resurrection”, “The Third Coming” and more.
Two shows at Manchester’s Heaton Park on June 29th and 30th, followed by a world tour.
Now piss off.
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JoeMomma says
They were the architects of their own demise. The first album was stellar but they got greedy and tried to break out of their contract. What came after was a 1/2 assed album that had one marginal song. Then came all the rough cuts compiled together.
If they would of roughed it out for a couple of more albums and kept the momentum going they could have probably been part of the 90’s electronic scene (Fatboy Slim and others).
I’ll still give them a chance as being in the 35-45 demographic, I can’t listen to any new music on the radio because it sucks. I’m stuck listening to 70’s, 80’s, 90’s pop hits (that doesn’t include Stone Roses).