Kanye West and Jay Z have got together to make supreme ego project, Watch The Throne. The first single taken from it is called ‘Otis’. Is that something to do with the people who make shopping centre escalators?
Of course it isn’t. That’s a stupid notion. But well done if you’ve ever noticed that mall escalators are made by a company called Otis. You’re as sad as we are.
No, this new track is called ‘Otis’ because it leans heavily on a sample taken from Otis Redding’s most famous track, ‘Try A Little Tenderness’. A little too heavily if you ask us. But what is the video like? Well, lets pull it to pieces shall we?
While the new release has broken all kindsa records, there’s a palpable sense that this won’t be remembered as a classic in years to come. Of course, the duo have their own impressive back catalogues to contend with, and more importantly, who cares what jerk-off critics like us think of such things, right?
However, there was a certain amount of confusion surrounding the lead track when it was announced.
See, we weren’t listening properly and were convinced that Jay and ‘Ye had decided to remake forgotten ’80s cartoon, Ovid Video when we heard that there was going to be an ‘Otis’ video.
Looking at the cartoon in question, we’re not sure that even J Hova could make this tune cool.
No, instead, we’ve been treated to this impressively dull promotional video which shows our protagonists… well… not really doing anything at all.
First off, we see Jay and West approaching an expensive looking car with some implements of death. These are the kind of things you would want someone to throw in your underpants. Meanwhile, a team of Top Gear Stig’s look on nervously, hoping that the tools will be taken to the body of the car, rather than an ad-hoc circumcision.
Mercifully for the Stig balls, the video quickly turns into awful Sunday afternoon show, Scrapheap Challenge. And bit of car are cut up despite there being nothing noticeably wrong with it.
An the tinkering with a perfectly good car continue, for reasons unclear. It seems like such a daft waste of cash, given that we’re in a dreadful financial predicament. The folly of rich men is laid bare, much like the track itself.
And so, from the kind of car a managing director might drive… to this. Mad Max meets the DeLorean from Back To The Future. A fire breathing daftmobile which is insanely impractical. How are you going to get the shopping in that? It looks too wide for a drive-thru as well. They really hadn’t thought this through had they? Silly celebrities.
And here they are, stood before the Stars ‘n’ Stripes. It’s the American dream. The ability to confidently throw your money around like it’s going out of fashion! What could possibly go wrong?
See? Look how much fun they’re having! They can’t stop laughing! They’ve chopped a car up, made it shoot fire out of the back and everything couldn’t be more hilarious!
And how the girls in the back laugh too! Wait! Not one of them is Beyonce! And surely it isn’t safe to have a unsafe road vehicle that breathes fire tearing up the place with four girls sat in the back with no seatbelts on. This is the kind of reckless behaviour that kills people. And all they can do is laugh?
Ever the gentleman (despite the fact he’s in a car with a bunch of girls who aren’t his wife), Jay decided to walk alongside the monster car. Sadly, some bloke in a suit has decided to jump in, making the whole thing a mockery.
And so, our heroes leave the car completely for a nice pray. They pray that no-one gets hurt by this junkyard motor. They also pray that no-one can see straight through their forced bon homie.
Then they forget about all that health and safety nonsense and decide to laugh uproariously in their car again. Kanye can barely remember the death of his mother after a botched bout of plastic surgery! He’s got women behind him, laughing their legs off! This is the funniest car journey in history! They’re probably listening to the Ying Tong Song to make it even funnier! What japes!
Then they blow up some tiny boxes and go home for some Ovaltine, assured that they’ve had a very productive day. How splendid it must be to be able to polish such expensive turds.
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Sigh. says
The video is about having fun, nothing more than that.
Christ, you’re a fucking misery.