Articles tagged with: sharon osbourne
America’s Got Talent: Recycled Percussion Are Rubbish
Week 274 of Ameria's Got Talent, and the ten remaining acts audition again, for your votes. Well, either your votes, or else the approval of the goat's entrails which the judges seem to have been relying on these past few weeks to tell them which act gets their discretionary nod. If you, like us, are getting a little tired of this season's judges' decisions - which they apparently make by asking themselves "Which of these acts is worst at delivering the one, simple, specific thing which they claim as their whole reason for being here?" - then take heart! After the jump, we introduce you to the awesomely majestic mighty magnificence which is... the AGT Drinking Game.
Week 274 of Ameria's Got Talent, and the ten remaining acts audition again, for your votes. Well, either your votes, or else the approval of the goat's entrails which the judges seem to have been relying on these past few weeks to tell them which act gets their discretionary nod. If you, like us, are getting a little tired of this season's judges' decisions - which they apparently make by asking themselves "Which of these acts is worst at delivering the one, simple, specific thing which they claim as their whole reason for being here?" - then take heart! After the jump, we introduce you to the awesomely majestic mighty magnificence which is... the AGT Drinking Game.
America’s Got Talent Begins: Can They Give Us A Susan Boyle?
Will the producers of America's Got Talent be able to find a mad-haired old fat lady, just like the Brits did? The clue is in the question: what with this being America, they'll doubtless be fighting them off with sticks. Of course, America has to do things a bit bigger than anybody else. So we fully expect their version of Susan Boyle to be a 1o00lb monster with hair like a mammoth's pubes, who has to be poured onto the stage from the back of a dump truck. Join us after the jump, when we look at how the show's first week went.
Will the producers of America's Got Talent be able to find a mad-haired old fat lady, just like the Brits did? The clue is in the question: what with this being America, they'll doubtless be fighting them off with sticks. Of course, America has to do things a bit bigger than anybody else. So we fully expect their version of Susan Boyle to be a 1o00lb monster with hair like a mammoth's pubes, who has to be poured onto the stage from the back of a dump truck. Join us after the jump, when we look at how the show's first week went.
Sharon Osbourne Sued By Only Woman More Mannish Than Her
Sharon Osbourne needs to learn that she can't just attack someone without experiencing any repercussions. Unless she attacked Kelly Osbourne, obviously. Then we'd probably stage a Murder On The Orient Express-style cover-up out of nothing but sheer gratitude. It's not relevant to this story, but we would. Someone tell Sharon we would. Anyway, one woman who Sharon Osbourne allegedly did attack is Megan Hauserman, the girl famous for being in that video of Sharon Osbourne attacking her. And now Megan Hauserman is suing Sharon Osbourne for it. Wouldn't have happened if Sharon Osbourne had attacked Kelly Osbourne, that's all we're saying.
Sharon Osbourne needs to learn that she can't just attack someone without experiencing any repercussions. Unless she attacked Kelly Osbourne, obviously. Then we'd probably stage a Murder On The Orient Express-style cover-up out of nothing but sheer gratitude. It's not relevant to this story, but we would. Someone tell Sharon we would. Anyway, one woman who Sharon Osbourne allegedly did attack is Megan Hauserman, the girl famous for being in that video of Sharon Osbourne attacking her. And now Megan Hauserman is suing Sharon Osbourne for it. Wouldn't have happened if Sharon Osbourne had attacked Kelly Osbourne, that's all we're saying.
Sharon Osbourne Legally Not As Awful As You Thought
You might not like Sharon Osbourne - specifically her stupid haircut, weird face and ridiculous Skeletor voice. And that's fine. But even Sharon Osbourne has her limits. Cross them and she'll sue your flipping bum off. That's what Sharon Osbourne did to The Sun after it claimed she was working Ozzy Osbourne 'to destruction' to keep her rich, and she's won a substantial payout from it. So whatever you do, don't say that Sharon Osbourne is trying to kill her husband with work. But feel free to laugh at her funny Skeletor voice. That's probably OK. If it isn't, we're screwed.
You might not like Sharon Osbourne - specifically her stupid haircut, weird face and ridiculous Skeletor voice. And that's fine. But even Sharon Osbourne has her limits. Cross them and she'll sue your flipping bum off. That's what Sharon Osbourne did to The Sun after it claimed she was working Ozzy Osbourne 'to destruction' to keep her rich, and she's won a substantial payout from it. So whatever you do, don't say that Sharon Osbourne is trying to kill her husband with work. But feel free to laugh at her funny Skeletor voice. That's probably OK. If it isn't, we're screwed.
Sharon Osborne Still Harping On About The Past
If you ever meet our fisherman friend Mike The Pike, it’ll take him about two minutes to mention his greatest achievement. Spreading his arms wide he’ll say he caught Untanga, the beast of the local lake. Sadly though, it was the one that got away and he only caught an abandoned shopping trolley. Sharon Osborne has something in common with our friend. Ever since she left X Factor, everyone has lost interest in her. But don’t worry, Sharon is trying to reignite a war with another one of the programme's boring additions – Dannii Minogue. We can’t confirm or deny if Sharon reeks of fish like Mike The Pike”. Only Ozzy knows that.
If you ever meet our fisherman friend Mike The Pike, it’ll take him about two minutes to mention his greatest achievement. Spreading his arms wide he’ll say he caught Untanga, the beast of the local lake. Sadly though, it was the one that got away and he only caught an abandoned shopping trolley. Sharon Osborne has something in common with our friend. Ever since she left X Factor, everyone has lost interest in her. But don’t worry, Sharon is trying to reignite a war with another one of the programme's boring additions – Dannii Minogue. We can’t confirm or deny if Sharon reeks of fish like Mike The Pike”. Only Ozzy knows that.
Video: Sharon Osbourne ‘Attacks’ Liquid Covered, Bikini-Clad Possible Man
If there is one thing in our life that has been missing of late, it's actual video footage of things that will probably hold up in court on the day Sharon Osbourne finds herself sitting in close proximity to both a lawyer and one of those really long, wooden defence tables. Its not missing any more though - not one ...
If there is one thing in our life that has been missing of late, it's actual video footage of things that will probably hold up in court on the day Sharon Osbourne finds herself sitting in close proximity to both a lawyer and one of those really long, wooden defence tables. Its not missing any more though - not one ...
Sharon Osbourne Investigated For Reality Show ‘Thump Attack’
Just because Sharon Osbourne's face looks more and more like a novelty eraser shaped like a pineapple, you shouldn't mess with her. No, really, you shouldn't mess with Sharon Osbourne. And you shouldn't not mess with Sharon Osbourne, either. Because if you mess with Sharon Osbourne - or don't mess with Sharon Osbourne - then you'll end up getting attacked by her. Or not getting attacked by her. Vague enough? Good. Because Sharon Osbourne is being investigated by police after allegedly attacking a reality TV show contestant who may or may not called Ozzy Osbourne 'braindead'. We hope that clears things up.
Just because Sharon Osbourne's face looks more and more like a novelty eraser shaped like a pineapple, you shouldn't mess with her. No, really, you shouldn't mess with Sharon Osbourne. And you shouldn't not mess with Sharon Osbourne, either. Because if you mess with Sharon Osbourne - or don't mess with Sharon Osbourne - then you'll end up getting attacked by her. Or not getting attacked by her. Vague enough? Good. Because Sharon Osbourne is being investigated by police after allegedly attacking a reality TV show contestant who may or may not called Ozzy Osbourne 'braindead'. We hope that clears things up.
Sharon Osbourne: ‘Screw You ITV! I Squawk For The BBC Now’
In an act of betrayal not matched since the Italians turned their backs on the Nazis in World War Two, or when Sol Campbell moved to Arsenal from Tottenham on a free transfer in the cold, dark summer of 2001, Sharon Osbourne, who recently parted company with long time friend ITV, is preparing to jump in bed with the BBC. Sharon recently quit ITV1’s X Factor because of something about money. She wasn’t getting her cut of the phone-in vote or something (just joking Sharon). Whatever, she left them, and it doesn’t look like she’s going back. But then again she’s no doubt said that to Ozzy a few dozen times over the years. And yet, no matter how big the betrayal, she still remains by his side. The poor fella - as if being a human vibrator wasn’t enough to live with without that over-opinionated ear-ache hanging about the place.
In an act of betrayal not matched since the Italians turned their backs on the Nazis in World War Two, or when Sol Campbell moved to Arsenal from Tottenham on a free transfer in the cold, dark summer of 2001, Sharon Osbourne, who recently parted company with long time friend ITV, is preparing to jump in bed with the BBC. Sharon recently quit ITV1’s X Factor because of something about money. She wasn’t getting her cut of the phone-in vote or something (just joking Sharon). Whatever, she left them, and it doesn’t look like she’s going back. But then again she’s no doubt said that to Ozzy a few dozen times over the years. And yet, no matter how big the betrayal, she still remains by his side. The poor fella - as if being a human vibrator wasn’t enough to live with without that over-opinionated ear-ache hanging about the place.
