Articles tagged with: Scarlett Johansson
Hey everyone, Woody Allen's got a new movie coming out! Wait, where are you going? Come back! Look, we know that most people would rather remove their bellend with the rough side of a cheesegrater than actually watch a Woody Allen film these days, primarily because they're all uniformly rubbish, but this one - entitled Vicky Cristina Barcelona - is different. OK, it's probably not that different at all really - we're willing to bet it'll be as painfully rubbish to watch as anything else Woody Allen has released in the last 20 years - but in this one Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz have a bit of a kiss. We've got the video after the jump, effectively saving you the price of a cinema ticket. We're good to you, no?
Scarlett Johansson has an album out soon and she'll do anything to promote it - even get engaged to Van Wilder. According to reports, Scarlett Johansson and boyfriend Ryan Reynolds have just got engaged. And, while it's nice to see that Scarlett and Ryan have decided not to follow the current celebrity trend of secret never-confirmed weddings, it'd probably be bigger news if Ryan Reynolds was a bit more, you know, famous. Oh, we're just kidding. We're sure that Ryan Reynolds is as warm and caring as you could possibly hope for. The real question is what a catch like Ryan sees in a rich, talented, successful tit factory like Scarlett Johansson. Wonders will never cease.
Scarlett Johansson (the actress - and now singer - famous for having Scarlett Johansson’s boobs on her chest; you know the one?) has blasted two of hecklerspray’s most cherished celebrities! The outrageous harlot has dared to declare that the musical talent of our Paris Hilton and our Lindsay Lohan is not quite her cup of tea. How dare she? Just who does she think she is? Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have a put a lot of good, honest, hard-work into getting where they are today, yet where is the respect? Do you think those cocks suck themselves?
Heterosexual males and homosexual females - and anyone else who has a pulse – unite and take note: Scarlett Johansson’s relationship to actor boyfriend Ryan Reynolds may be on the rocks.
According to a ‘Stateside spy’ working under cover for the Daily Mail, their relationship has ‘hit a rough patch’. It seems Scarlett has been scared off by Ryan’s mentioning of babies and weddings. The spy said:
"Scarlett is younger and has no desire for a husband or family just yet."
What’s this? An A-list female celebrity who prioritises her career above procreation?
How refreshing.
Scarlett Johansson is so sought-after that a man from the UK has actually paid $40,100 (about £20,000) to be able to accompany her to the premier of her upcoming movie, He’s Just Not That Into You.
He doesn’t even appear to have been guaranteed sex on any level - not even a tonguing - and yet has paid for the equivalent of 8,000 anal sexes with Manfa, who has been hanging round the corners of hecklerstreet for four years now.
When asked what kind of an evening she’d give a man who had paid £40,100, Manfa said she’d “willingly go blind in both eyes,” and if he still wanted to go see the movie, that “with a film title like that, blindness may be a blessing,” before adding “maybe I’d go deaf for it too.” But that’s Manfa, and she really is a dirty whore. Five dollars for sex? That’s two pound fifty; cheaper than a Zinger Tower.
