Ryan Reynolds – man that is made entirely of gym instructions – and Charlize Theron – a woman designed to occupy thongs – have apparently been dating for months, and were both so simple minded (much like cows in a field) that they forgot to tell anyone… including themselves.
A source close to the pair has revealed to at least four people who were half-listening, that the pair are officially ‘in a relationship’, telling reporters: “They’re exclusive, and it’s very hush-hush.”
Presumably, even Charlize Theron doesn’t want to admit that she’s going steady with the man responsible for the dreadful, dreadful Green Lantern film.
Thus far, the couple have managed to dodge photographers, but this could once again be down to immense stupidity. Rumour has it that the pair stood before a window of Curry’s, waving at all the cameras and presuming that they were getting vital publicity for their dismal projects.
However, things soon came to a stop as they were both distracted by a balloon and ran-after it, trying to grab the sky with their stupid, stupid hands.
The source adds:
“They’re both career-focused, but not in a crazy way. [Theron] won’t go to an event with him. That’s not her style.”
This is down to Theron’s fear of red carpets, which she still believes are made entirely of rocking horse blood. Meanwhile, Reynolds is still in contact with his ex wife, Scarlett Johansson, because he didn’t understand what she meant when she told him ‘I don’t love you anymore’.
Next week: Reynolds and Theron are told that ice cubes are made from very cold water.
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Reynolds has been thumping around Hollywood trying to get laid ever since his wife Scarlett got “Controlling Old Geezers Are Hot” disease and ran off with Sean Penn. How can this be so hard for a guy with a bod like that. Unless, of course, he’s like a Chia pet … pleasant to look at but basically useless. Plus they need to be watered before they sprout. The world makes no sense anymore.
Dog Wover,
You got it all wrong. If YOU were rich and good looking with a body like his…that is what YOU would do. This is one of the reasons the guy is so sexy, his laid back approach to life is admirable. He is not trying to prove he is worthy of the tittle by attacking every sexy star he runs across he’s got it and he knows it and does not take it as seriously as most men think he should.
Geez….who gave you the platform to speak? There is nothing dumb about a couple not pimping a relationship to promote a project. It is very refreshing. Ryan never used Scarlett as a photo opt either. This is to be admired….not ridiculed!
NO no No nO noooooo! Wrong WRONG wRonG WRonG! These people are to be ridiculed All the time until they are knocked down a peg or thirteen or 33. Until they show their true reptilian nature.
What an uncivil, disrespectful rant…
the writer of this article needs to chill the f*ck out and eat a ice cream…. let em do their thing, at least they not up in ya face with it. go learn a real skill bruh
WHAT IDIOT WROTE THIS ARTICLE?
Psst… it’s right there at the top. The idiot is Mof Gimmers (how many times have we all said that). It’s not his real name, by the by. His real name is Henry Motherfucking Bobsadicklish (he is actually Russian, the sneaky ponce).
OMG..u guyzz..ths story assuming its true sounds cute to me..n bein a FAN of both starts they r both BIGGER thn usin ths as a publicity stunt thy both REALLY famous n ddnt need the extra attention im sure!!..hope this works out.
What? Just, what? Do you own only half of a keyboard, or is it half a brain?