Posts tagged as:

religion

Brad Pitt Caught Smoking By His Judgemental, Pious Children

by Mof Gimmers

Brad Pitt smokes. That’s because smoking is cool. Disagree? Let’s put it this way – there’s millions of women and men who would not think twice about cheating on you, with him. That’s because he’s cool. Much, much cooler than you. Of course, everytime anyone lights up a cigarette, there’s hoards of people ready to [...]

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Scientologists Sent Mole To Spy On South Park Creators Because They Like Comedy So Much

by Mof Gimmers

Scientology hasn’t really taken off around the world. That’s because, despite having a foot in the world of entertainment, it really lacks any semblance of humour. Effectively, Scientologists are humour vacuums. Have you seen they way they’re absolutely unhappy to talk about their religion? Surely you gotta face some persecution to be a proper religious [...]

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Catholic League Keep Straight Face And Show Mass Amnesia When Calling Susan Sarandon ‘Despicable’

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Susan Sarandon calling Pope Benedict a Nazi? That was pretty funny wasn’t it? After all, he was a Nazi at one point. He was a massive, massive… well… tiny Nazi in the Hitler Youth. Of course, the Nazism is nothing compared to the whole Catholicism thing. Of course, you can’t go around calling a [...]

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Susan Sarandon Thinks The Pope Is A Nazi, And In Spain, Nuns Stole Babies And Sold Them!

by Mof Gimmers

God isn’t having a good time of it lately. His representatives on Earth aren’t doing It any favours. Of course, God Itself is a spiteful, vengeful chump anyway and made man in Its own image, so It only has Itself to blame. Going after the Almighty is Susan Sarandon. Of course, you can’t kick God [...]

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Selena Gomez Will Probably Die As God Wants Prophet To Slay Her

by Mof Gimmers

If you know anything about Selena Gomez – which you don’t because you’re old, infirm and unwilling to keep up with popular culture that lies outside of being old enough to be enjoyed ironically and post-modernly – you’ll know two things about her. The first is that she’s the beau of singing uterus lining, Justin [...]

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Top 10 Angels

by Mof Gimmers

Angels. They’re funny things aren’t they? They live in heaven (which looks pretty boring) and have wings for no discernible reason. If you were God’s Army, surely you could fly without wings, right? Either way, they fly around and totally exist and play harp really well. Although, we’ve taken our eye off the ball. We [...]

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American Christians Are Mental And Heckle Obama [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

Did you know that Barack Obama is the antichrist? Did you have any idea? Must be something to do with his Middle Eastern sounding name. So thank Godly Godlington that Christians are on-hand to point out that Obama is some kind of lousy, Middle Eastern infidel who… …hang on a minute. Wasn’t Jesus from Palestine [...]

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Angelina Jolie Spends £1300 In 15 Minutes While Thinking Of All The Suffering In The World

by Mof Gimmers

Angelina Jolie is quite often at the front of charitable causes, giving us the plead-eye so we give our scant pennies to whatever plight she’s decided to pose before. It’s all very fulfilling being Brad Pitt’s other half. And while she works for the UN and pouts at starving children, she also likes to blow [...]

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Angelina Jolie Receives Award For Her Firm Grasp Of Reality. Seriously…WHAT?!

by Paul Pencott

In further evidence that the world has entirely lost it’s mind, the actress Angelina Jolie – who plays make-believe for a living – was last night awarded the Heart of Sarajevo purportedly for her “active engagement in the complexities of the real world”. As the Cyborg 2 star tearfully accepted the award, the rest of [...]

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Danniella Westbrook Turns To Religion, Snorting Up The Lord Jesus’ Good Stuff

by Matthew Laidlow

Religion is a fascinating thing isn’t it? Whilst Christians, Muslims, Sikhs and the mentalist Scientologists all bicker over who is right, they are united by one thing – practising terrible and archaic teachings. Practically everything else in the world has developed and modernised, such as transport and communication. We reckon that if Jesus was alive [...]

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