In further evidence that the world has entirely lost it's mind, the actress Angelina Jolie ? who plays make-believe for a living ? was last night awarded the Heart of Sarajevo purportedly for her ?active engagement in the complexities of the real world?.
As the Cyborg 2 star tearfully accepted the award, the rest of the world was reminded of the moment the satirist Tom Lehrer resigned after Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize at the height of the Vietnam War, claiming that satire had just become obsolete.
Applauding Hollywood?s most high-profile blood-vial wearing nut-job for her grasp of ?the complexities of the real world? is like applauding a toddler for its grasp of the complexities of nuclear fission. Her own father claimed she had ?serious mental problems? for God?s sake.
The Kung Fu Panda star attended her first wedding in black rubber pants and a white T-shirt, upon which she had written the groom’s name in her blood, claimed she almost hired a hitman to kill him, and was sectioned for three days at UCLA?s psychiatric ward shortly before marrying Billy Bob Thornton.
BILLY BOB THORNTON.
If the Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow star lived round our estate she'd rightly be a social pariah, not have people queuing up to pin awards on her crazy-ass self.
Anyway, apparently she's made some film about how it's, like, a bit grim and that in Bosnia, and they're all chuffed about it. Which is news to the rest of the world who ? prior to Jolie?s selfless intervention ? thought that the whole country was like a sort of giant Center Parcs or something.
we're with Tom Lehrer on this one.
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JJ says
She’s done more good for others than you ever have, dipshit. Unless you count this type of ‘writing’ as an actual contribution to society.
Maeve says
She lives in the UK at the moment and people queue up to see her leave a toy shoppe so I think you are wide of the mark and apparently you are also stuck in a hole somewhere that is still the year 2000. Jolie is a wonderful young woman who has a very clear view of right and wrong and she isn’t smearing you on the internet so I think we can tell who is the social pariah here and it absolutely isn’t Angelina Jolie.
Jesus wept says
Then he fucking laughed hysterically over the dipshits running about down here on planet earth. “She’s done more good for the world?” Why, because she can’t pass anything brown, whether it is a child or dog shit, without picking it up and screaming MINE! MINE! MINE ! Or because she’s just made a movie about a woman brutally raped and then, hey, stays with the rapist ’cause that’s just the thing to do? Fuck a monkey you people are dumb.
Cookie Monster says
Young woman?