Posts tagged as:

Pamela Anderson

Top 8 Baywatch Babes Of All Time

by David Schwartz

It’s the show which launched Pamela Anderson’s career and got The Hoff back on to our screens – but Baywatch wasn’t all bad. In fact, just as long as you forget about the pathetic acting and dodgy dialogue – it was really rather good. Good, that is, as in we got to get a good [...]

7 comments Read more >>>

Pamela Anderson Tells Sarah Palin To Suck It, Whatever ‘It’ Is

by Stuart Heritage

With her rural upbringing, lax attitude to interpersonal sex education and hooters, Sarah Palin’s biggest fan should be Pamela Anderson.

But that doesn’t seem to be the case. Pamela Anderson hates Sarah Palin. She hates Sarah Palin’s stance on hunting, she hates Sarah Palin’s creationist beliefs and she hates Sarah Palin’s stupid voice, which is all like “Wer wer wer.” In fact, Pamela Anderson hates Sarah Palin so much that she’s told her to “suck it” on camera.

And when Pamela Anderson tells you to suck it, it’s not a request, it’s an order. Pamela Anderson literally wants you to suck it. Right now. Here and now, on this speedboat, Pamela Anderson wants you to suck it. She’s going to film it as well, so long as you’re cool with it. It’s not like it’s going to end up on the internet or anything.

With her rural upbringing, lax attitude to interpersonal sex education and hooters, Sarah Palin's biggest fan should be Pamela Anderson. But that doesn't seem to be the case. Pamela Anderson hates Sarah Palin. She hates Sarah Palin's stance on hunting, she hates Sarah Palin's creationist beliefs and she hates Sarah Palin's stupid voice, which is all like "Wer wer wer." In fact, Pamela Anderson hates Sarah Palin so much that she's told her to "suck it" on camera. And when Pamela Anderson tells you to suck it, it's not a request, it's an order. Pamela Anderson literally wants you to suck it. Right now. Here and now, on this speedboat, Pamela Anderson wants you to suck it. She's going to film it as well, so long as you're cool with it. It's not like it's going to end up on the internet or anything.
19 comments Read more >>>

Kid Rock Charged With Batter-based Battery

by Ian Dransfield

We always find it hard to take when, after a long, arduous gig in front of thousands of our fans, the local waffle house we visit doesn’t have enough cream, strawberries or maple syrup to coat our tasty treats. So much so that we sometimes raise issue with it, politely make our points, then leave [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Pamela Anderson Quite Opinionated On Jessica Simpson And Her Entire Carnivorous Wardrobe

by Shawn Lindseth

If there is one thing Hecklerspray hates, it's anything that lives underwater. Seriously, if God meant for those things to survive he would have given them lungs. If there is another thing Hecklerspray hates, it's when celebrities wear T-shirts that look like they were made in a 7th grade home-ec class but with not one [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee – Together At Last! Again. Again. Again.

by Ian Dransfield

Pamela Anderson seems to wish she could return to the past – to a time before hepatitis, miscarriage, divorce, Rick Salomon and definitely, definitely before Kid Rock. The whole world wants to return to that particular time. But the particular time she seems to want to return to is the one where a drummer from [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Pamela Anderson In Non-Porno, Non-Divorce, Non-Baywatch Story Shocker!

by Matthew Laidlow

Watch any teatime broadcast of Baywatch and you’ll see Pamela Anderson as a Barbie doll of a woman who saves drowning pensioners and children whilst prancing around in a red swimsuit.

But behind the smile and massive hooters lies a dark secret, as it’s been revealed that Pamela Anderson was brutally attacked as a child. Not by a pack of wild dogs full of explosive rabies or a perverted old man, but by a menacing gang of leeches. Maybe she looked at them funny.

Um, that’s the top and bottom off it really. However, with our powerful contacts on the inside, we’ve been granted the ins and outs of a police report filled against the leeches that have permanently scarred Pamela on the left shoulder. Some details are sketchy, but we’ve done our best to sum it up for you.

0 comments Read more >>>

Pamela Anderson Gets Very Own Generic Reality Show

by Stuart Heritage

Pamela Anderson life is so crazy that it should be a sitcom – a really quite poor sitcom about a woman with underdeveloped emotional maturity and quite a lot of hepatitis.

However Pamela Anderson is too classy to turn her life into a sitcom. So that’s why she’s decided to turn it into a reality show for E! instead.

But don’t expect Pamela to be a tawdry tell-all delve into Pamela Anderson’s personal life – it’s apparently going to be a docu-style series that won’t feature either of Pamela Anderson’s children. It probably won’t feature any of her love interests either, because the near-constant meet/marry/pregnancy scare/divorce cycle Pamela Anderson pounds through on an almost monthly basis will just leave viewers disorientated and confused.

2 comments Read more >>>

Pamela Anderson’s Stupid Marriage Officially Never Existed

by Stuart Heritage

Praise be to the heavens above – Pamela Anderson’s marriage to Rick Salomon has been officially annulled.

Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon managed just over two months of happy marriage before they separated, which we think could be a record for both of them. We’re sure they’re very proud, either way.

And it was a smart move for Pamela Anderson to choose an annulment over a divorce, because legally it means the marriage never existed. And that means that the next time Pamela Anderson short-sightedly stumbles into a marriage with a vastly unsuitable man, she’ll only be a double-divorcee instead of a triple. That third one would have put all kinds of men off.

2 comments Read more >>>

Pamela Anderson Calls Her Entire Marriage A Fraud

by Stuart Heritage

All Pamela Anderson wants from life is true love, preferably true love that ends after a couple of months and makes her look a bit foolish in retrospect.

And, God bless her, that’s exactly what Pamela Anderson got with Rick Salomon – the man who she married, split up with, possibly got pregnant by, got back together with and is now seeking annulment from.

Now it turns out that Pamela Anderson has cited ‘fraud’ to end her marriage to Rick Salomon. Now, you should remember that there are only a limited number of grounds for annulment and Pamela Anderson probably checked the ‘fraud’ box not because she’d literally been defrauded, but because there wasn’t a more accurate explanation available to her, like ‘I’m an emotionally-backwards airhead dicksplat.’

3 comments Read more >>>

Most Shockingest Thing Ever: Pamela Anderson Wants To Dump Her Husband

by hecklerspray staff

Pamela Anderson. The woman has such good intentions, you know. She’s always picking up random men from the grubby trashy loser pound and marrying them, only to have each marriage fail miserably.

We hate to tell you this, Pam, but you just gotta let some of those strays be put down, honey. We’ve had to do the same thing with several of Paris Hilton’s boyfriends. Just gotta let them go…

But now, Pamela Anderson finds herself doing the failed marriage thing again with that Rick Salomon guy she married. No, wait. Scratch that. She’s just getting an annulment this time,not a divorce. Oh, okay then. That’s much better.

1 comment Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →