The calibre of this year’s Dancing With The Stars is so high that we’ve barely mentioned Pamela Anderson.
Kate Gosselin? Yes. Buzz Aldrin? Yes. That reality show pilot idiot who got kicked off last week and doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page? Yes. But not Pamela Anderson. This is either because Dancing With The Stars can afford to book stars big enough to can eclipse Pamela Anderson, or it’s because Pamela Anderson isn’t very famous any more and we don’t particularly like to dwell on the image of her dancing – an image of a bright orange warped Lionel Richie Hello-style sculpture of 1990s Pamela Anderson being dragged around the stage by an alcoholic self-loathing puppeteer.
But anyway, it’s all too late. Last night Pamela Anderson left Dancing With The Stars for not being That Girl From The Pussycat Dolls Who’s Obviously Going To Win Dancing With The Stars. Basically.
If this was the early to mid 1990s, then this would have absolutely been the best season of Dancing With The Stars ever. It would have featured world-famous Beverly Hills 90210 starlet Shannen Doherty, sprightly and mobile former astronaut Buzz Aldrin, optimistic schoolgirl and mother of none Kate Gosselin and Pamela Anderson, the sexiest and most famous woman on the face of the planet.
But it isn’t the early to mid 1990s, which is why this year’s Dancing With The Stars has featured washed-up hasbeen Shannen Doherty, ancient and decrepit former astronaut Buzz Aldrin, motherhood-soured reality TV divorcee Kate Gosselin and Pamela Anderson, a woman who now looks so ropey that Tiger Woods would probably think twice before sleeping with her.
However, just because she’s transformed from a woman who looks like she’d give you a handjob on a private plane into a woman who looks like she’d give you a handjob on the back seat of your 1998 Ford Fiesta and then charge you for it, Pamela Anderson still gave it all she had on Dancing With The Stars. She may have been eliminated last night, but she still managed to beat everyone else, bar the Pussycat Doll, two professional athletes and the host of an interior design show that nobody has ever heard of. And she was sort of gracious in defeat, as AP reports:
“This has been one of the best experiences of my life ? and that says a lot. I’ve had a lot of good experiences,” Anderson said after learning her fate. “I love everybody here,” she said. Anderson said that learning to dance allowed her to focus in a way she hadn’t before. “I’m really proud of the effort I’ve put into it. I’ve never been able to apply myself in this kind of way. This is a dream come true.”
So there we have it – appearing on Dancing With The Stars was one of the best experiences of Pamela Anderson’s life. That means it’s official – Dancing With The Stars is now better than the TV show Stripperella and giving a man a blowjob on a boat. Maybe that should be the show’s motto next year.
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Josephina Hainds says
Pamela Anderson is one the hottest celebrities ever and so damn sexy! I love those beautiful pictures she has and also I love those pair of boobs, the sexy body and the cute face! I have been a fan of her since 1994. I love you and I’m your biggest fan!