Posts tagged as:

movie

Angelina Jolie Spends £1300 In 15 Minutes While Thinking Of All The Suffering In The World

by Mof Gimmers

Angelina Jolie is quite often at the front of charitable causes, giving us the plead-eye so we give our scant pennies to whatever plight she’s decided to pose before. It’s all very fulfilling being Brad Pitt’s other half. And while she works for the UN and pouts at starving children, she also likes to blow [...]

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hecklerspray Has Server Issues But You All Love Us Anyway

by Michael Park

Hello, heckler tits. We’ve had a few technical problems today which will no doubt have left you clamouring for your sarcy gossip fix. Have no fear! We’ll be back tomorrow, trying to explain away the link between Justin Bieber, Hayley Duff and a small tabby cat called mittens. We’ll have ‘Creased or Folded?’, this week’s [...]

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The Inbetweeners Movie Breaks Box-Office Records, Despite Being Desperately Unfunny

by Matthew Laidlow

When E4 had eventually grown tired of showing endless repeats of Friends and Scrubs, the channel eventually spat out its own unique programming, aimed at the sort of person that hecklerspray writers aren’t; the young, the cool, the hip and the trendy. Arseholes, basically. On one end of the spectrum, there was Skins, a programme [...]

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Angelina Jolie Receives Award For Her Firm Grasp Of Reality. Seriously…WHAT?!

by Paul Pencott

In further evidence that the world has entirely lost it’s mind, the actress Angelina Jolie – who plays make-believe for a living – was last night awarded the Heart of Sarajevo purportedly for her “active engagement in the complexities of the real world”. As the Cyborg 2 star tearfully accepted the award, the rest of [...]

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Superman Returns To Krypton

by Kris Silver

2011 appears to be the year of the big budget comic book movie. When it comes to adaptations of graphic novels, we’re being spoiled rotten right now. Marvel’s first avenger, Captain America has just hit cinemas worldwide, Green Lantern… well, it happened didn’t it… and we’ve been given 3 brand spanking new teaser trailers to [...]

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The Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie Wedding Is Off Thanks To Mystery Woman, Obviously

by Mof Gimmers

Initially, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie weren’t bothering to get married because… well… it is a completely redundant institution for those who are petrified of being lonely, compelled to contractually oblige someone to stay with them, rather than, y’know, continue to make an effort. That and they didn’t want to get married while there were [...]

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Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Are Getting Married Because You Can’t Get Divorced Without It

by Mof Gimmers

Because America is only about 4 years old compared to the rest of the world, it has to pin its dreams on daft things. They don’t have a royal family, so they obsess over various Kennedy family member and celebrities. Concerning the latter, celebrity weddings are the closest thing they have to experiencing the collective [...]

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Idiot Harry Potter Fans Stand In The Weather All Night For No Good Reason At All

by Mof Gimmers

Thousands of Harry Potter fans with nothing better to do decided to stand in a queue all night while the heavens opened on them, making them wetter than Ron Weasley’s demeanour. Trafalgar Square is now overrun with Potterists with the local council considering exterminating them like rats as they breed in the streets, birthing runts [...]

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Harry Potter Was A Vomiting Alcoholic

by Mof Gimmers

Daniel Radcliffe seems like a nice chap doesn’t he? That’s despite that fact he got naked once and showed everyone his ghastly, sinewy, gym-honed body which made him look like a pale He-Man figure (didn’t see it? Click here at your peril). How does someone get the confidence to derobe before the public’s eyes? Easy. [...]

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We Look At The Reasons Why Glenn Beck Got Attacked By The People Of New York In A Park

by Mof Gimmers

Sometimes, one can only hope that Glenn Beck is the Republican version of Jon Stewart and that it was all one big joke we didn’t latch onto in good time… but there’s that gnawing feeling that he really does believe the beserk stuff he says. And it is his views that have seen him and [...]

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